Suggestions?

You know what is NOT fun? PUPPP w/an allergic reaction to a sulfa drug (Macrobid, a reaction I apparently ONLY have when PG). Does anyone have any suggestions? I am about to claw my skin off!! I have hives and welts everywhere..It's really pretty. Might mess up the ol SIL pictures Friday..=) Hydrocortisone cream does not seem to be working and yes, I have stopped the Macrobid. Ugh, at this point I'll do (almost) anything.

Had another appointment w/Dr. F today..He said he didn't think I have/had a UTI (which I didn't think either) and the hives on my arms/legs were from the sulfa and told me to stop taking it. Also....dum de dum dum. He told me to stop taking the Lovenox..OMG. I am ready to do this (the shots are getting worse) but I am scared as well. But he reassured me, that born now, she would survive w/a good outcome. Plus, the edema and hematoma's from the shots are making my belly SO swollen. I'm 31wks4d today..Measuring THIRTY SIX weeks. No wonder everyone was asking me when I was due. Baby E is doing very well. Moving all the time, HB was 157. He measured me 3x to "make sure"..lol. Gotta love being huge. Also, on that note, just because I  might look like a barn, does NOT mean people get to make comments. Seriously!! Some people just need to shut it. The PUPPP/sulfa reaction is killing me. As previously mentioned.

Some "gems" from this weekend. Walking into my parents house my grandma greeted me with "hey fatty." During the family picture (w/my dad's family) one of my aunts said "I want to stand next to you so I look really thin." So I purposely stood directly in front of her in 4 out of the 5 family pics. She looked so "thin" that no one could see her. Yay. Another aunt told me my face looked very "fluffy." And my MIL asked THREE times if I was "sure there weren't 2 in there." WTF? Next time, I'll give her a speculum and she can check it out herself. I know, crass. But why do people loose their filters around PG women? Do they think it makes me feel good to know everyone thinks I look like a barn? I'll have to post a pic, then you can tell me if I look like I'm carrying sextuplets.

Okay, that is all. The bed is calling my name =)

Fun Times in L&D...Again

Otherwise known as "How we spent Christmas Night." It was good times, let me tell you. One thing that no one tells you is that when you start having contractions 9 weeks early..It's not just fear of having a preemie that overtakes you..It's the pain. Oh my heavens. Nothing could have prepared me for "real" contractions. Nothing. No pictures, no words, no descriptions. Nothing. It almost took my mind off the fact that there was a real potential of giving birth 2 months early.

We were at my MIL's family Christmas, and around 5pm I started feeling really nauseous and like I needed to go to the bathroom. This has been the case after my last few meals, so  I just shrugged it off. About 15 minutes later, I knew I had to get to the bathroom, my stomach felt like it was being burned from the outside in and I had pain radiating from my back up my shoulders, even into my toes. I went to the restroom, and the pain was so bad I had trouble standing up. It was like waves of pain. I told E we needed to leave and go to the hospital. Were we 2 hours from our hospital?! Yep. So I called Dr. F (more as a courtesy then anything) and he told me to go home and lie down on my left side for an hour..Really!?!? The pain was excruciating..E had to talk to him because I had to concentrate on breathing and not throwing up in the car. I told E there was no way I could make it through a 2 hour car ride in this kind of pain. Apparently, Dr. F just thought I was having heartburn or round ligament pain...Or NOT. Defn. contractions. Defn. preterm labor. I got hooked up to monitors at the nearest hospital, and the best part about the contractions was when Baby E would push on me as I was having one. It took all my strength not to scream. I couldn't stop crying and I felt completely out of control, not to mention, scared. The nurse was really friendly, and helped me control my breathing, and she had to do a cervical check. That.was.awesome. As in really bad. Thankfully, my cervix was/is closed and thick, so no dilation from the contractions. I got a shot of Terbutaline and Zofran and I was monitored for about 4 hours. They did some blood work and took a urine sample..I was dehydrated and have yet another UTI, which can & does cause contractions. They sent me home w/a script for antibiotics and to call my doctor Monday..I have an appointment Tuesday, so we'll see if I call tomorrow. I'm kind of pissed at him right now, cause what if I had gone home? I was having contractions, it was not good news. I'm sure he'll be pissed, but I know my body better then anyone...and what was going on was not right (obviously). It was a great way to spend Christmas night.

Other then that, Christmas was fantastic. Baby E made out like a banshee (and she's not even here yet) and we got all kinds of great stuff. Pictures to follow, but for now, I'm exhausted and have laundry to do. Hope all of you had a wonderful holiday!!

PS: SIL gave us an "itinerary" for her wedding....It's SIX pages long. Bahahaha!!!

Christmas Eve

• Baby Girl is movin & groovin..It is hilarious to watch, glorious to feel..This time next year..Oh my heavens, I won't be able to hold in the excitement
• I cannot WAIT to give E his presents. I'm more excited about that then anything else
• It will be my first white Christmas since in about 10 years..Pumped? Yes I am!!
• Tonight is Christmas Even w/my dad's slightly dysfunctional family..There's always stories to tell..but the best part is the Christmas Eve service at our church and my mom's AWESOME food
• We have our new bed..I just wish I could get comfortable..It's not the beds fault, it's this big ol belly..Oh well..Totally worth it!!
• There is wrapping paper, ribbons, tape, scissors, and labels strewn all about the living room..It looks like a gift wrap explosion
• I'm still in my jammies..at 12:00PM
• I just feel excited..I can't wait for the next few days!!
• If I don't get here b/f tomorrow is over...Have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Advice Needed

I am actually asking for advice, yes please, because I am stuck on a few things.

1. Allie is continuing to poop in the house. W.T.F!? She has never, ever had this issue. It has been bad news since her attempted suicide by brownies 3 weeks ago. She always goes in the entryway (never on the carpet) and I always mop afterwards. Is it possible that she "smells" something and thinks she can poop there? What are some suggestions to curb this? She isn't being left at home over 8 hours at a time, she goes out every single morning, and I make her do both of her businesses. I'm at a loss of what to do. Besides have DH bleach the floors when he gets home Wednesday night. Ugh. Please help. 
2. I have EXTREME itching/rash on my belly..like bellybutton line and below. It is unbearable. So far lotion hasn't helped (Lubriderm, Bath & Body, etc) and I'm scratch til my skin bleeds, and it STILL itches, and then hurts. Any ideas? I kind of need a lotion that won't break out my already ridiculously sensitive skin. Would Aveeno work? Or cocoa butter/lotion?
3. The blessed wedding of the year is next weekend. DH does NOT have Thursday or Friday off, so I will be going it alone. He is scheduled to be in class Friday til 5pm and the wedding is 2 hours away at 7:30, so he will be hauling ass to get there. I have already decided that I am not going to the rehearsal dinner. It is too far to drive back & forth hauling Moo & Allie. Plus, we all know how to walk down the aisle. I don't need to have pizza & salad at the fire station. And, worst case scenario, I'm 2 hours from my doctor & hospital, DH is 2 hours away from me & my parents will be in Michigan, so I'd have to drive myself there too..W/dog and little girl. No thanks. So the SIL wants us all at the salon by 11:30am (and we are staying at her house on NYE night, so we'll drop Allie off there). I know I'm sounding super whiney, but it's a lot to do by myself. I didn't realize how much I rely and depend on DH, just to even drive me places. I mean, yesterday, a 40 minute walk around Sam's Club about did my feet and legs in. I can't imagine being up from 9am-sometime after 12am. Ugh. I know. Whiney. And the SIL does not seem to understand (yep, put on your surprised face). I've explained my lifting weight limit, and the fact that I'm not supposed to be on my feet for hours on end. I guess I'll just sit down whenever I feel like it. Would I love to just skip this? Yep. Does this make me a bit bitchy? Yep. Any suggestions on keeping my shit together would be great =)
4. Umm..a couple of questions about what is "normal" from the BTDT mammas. Peeing at least 6x a night? Normal? Being nauseated during the night? Nipp.les hurting? Feeling exhausted in the 3rd tri? Having the holiday blahs? Skin breaking out like it did during the first tri? Excessive clumsiness and forgetfulness? Okay, that pretty much covers it right now I do believe. 

Okay, I'm off to watch tv & read. Thank you in advance for any advice!!

Quick Update

Before I go to bed..I'm so sleepy..

• Im not one of those pregnant people..but being pregnant got kind of uncomfortable this weekend. It's hard to stand for long periods of time, and the belly is so big it's had to roll over. I look like a beached whale..Lol..But I am loving it. People ask me if I'm "miserable." Umm, nope. I love it. I'd do every single part of it over again, and I can't wait to do so. I'm just uncomfortable. And I feel like I shouldn't complain..So please don't be *too* mad at me.
• The weekend is not a long enough time to be w/DH. By the time we get back into a "routine", he has to go back to school. Oh well, he only has 47 more days (can you believe that?!!?) and he's home for 4 days next week. Yessss!!!!
• Allie has licked 2 hot spots near her nubbin and she has a little infection near her bottom. She's like a child. Now, I'll have to A) find money to pay the vet and B) find time to take her to the vet. It doesn't seem to be bothering her, so for now, we'll just wait and see.
• Sometimes, my husband just doesn't listen, and sometimes, I just have to let him learn from his mistakes. I.E., folding wet laundry makes it moldy and stinky..He discovered this when he opened his suitcase at the academy last week. It was not good news apparently..Gotta let them learn on their own sometimes.
• I need to wrap presents, unfortunately, doggie will get into them if i put them out, so it will wait til probably Christmas Eve. Oh, and PG brain has made me forget about 2 people I still need to buy for. Oops!!
• Our Christmas present from my parents this year..A new bed!! Well mattress and box springs. OMG!! I am so excited. It's a king sized bed and we are just attaching our existing head board to it. But still. Our current mattress is so uncomfortable that E is sleeping in the guest room. So we will be back in bed together b/f Christmas..yay!!

Okay, DH just NOW decided to fold his laundry, so i must go help. Hope your weekend was wonderful!!

Gah

Pretty much sums up the last few days...

• Bladder infection..5 days of antibiotics..leading to a kidney infection. Yay. Full of pain. Neat-o
• Very little sleep. Like I'm on negative sleep hours. I'm in almost constant pain, and turning hurts and getting up eleventy hundred times a night isn't helping. 
• Dr. F said everything is "normal" today..Babeh is measuring good (still big), HB was 154, she is very active, and she is head down, lying directly on my bladder...hence the pain. He explained that her cranium on my bladder is causing pressure, making my bladder think it's full, sending the "pee" signal to my brain..But oops, not so much. So it's kind of spasming. It's good fun. Ah, well, at least she's in a good position. 
• I read LCFA yesterday, and in the "loss" section was an entry about a mamma that lost her baby, just recently at 34 weeks. I'm terrified of this. I know, it's shitty to make this selfish, but this is what I fear. Ugh. I don't want her to come so soon, but  I am just ready to hold her. To touch her. To actually have her in my arms. 
• I feel like I have ballooned in the last month. Ugh. I just feel, and have recently had a stretchmark explosion..Oh so pretty..Lol. Ahh, she is leaving her mark already
• I'm still not done Christmas shopping. Yep. Procrastination is my middle name. I'll get it done. 
• I feel like this entry is so dumb, lol. Stuff is just kind of, blah. We got some snow, it's gorgeous, minus the roads being shit. I'm glad tomorrow is Friday..I need a weekend.

I've Been Meaning To Post

But I just feel dumb about a few things..I don't think you all will judge me..But you might think I'm "that" pregnant person..But let me just get it out..

I am kind of ready for the holidays to be over..Not because I don't LOVE them..because I usually do. But for the last 2 Christmas's..We've lost a baby. I am terrified. I know miscarriage isn't an option anymore, but baby loss still is, and it is at the FOREFRONT of my mind. I know this could happen anytime, but our bad luck has always been at Christmas. Ugh. I know, I should be greatful, but I just get scared. I've been over emotional (as in crying at every.damn.thing) and I just pinpointed the problem a few days ago. I haven't mentioned it to anyone, cause people already think I "stress" too much. Plus, really, nothing they say will make me not think about it. And I know that 9 out of 10 babies born right now, survive. And i have almost literally had to sit on my hands not to Goo.gle "cord injury death" or " late term PG loss." I often wonder how if I would be different if we didn't have 6 losses under our belts. Would I still worry about this kind of stuff? I also had a dead baby dream last night. I woke up choking. Literally. I couldn't breathe. It was awful. I could not fall back to sleep. And I know she's okay. We had a great appointment last Thursday, HB was fantastic, she's still measuring big (which Dr. F says is totally fine) and after I woke up, she was just going ballistic and has been moving all day. DH even heard her HB through my belly. It was so cool. I'm sorry for all the gloom and doom, I just had to get it off my chest (which thinking of..has gotten exponentially larger in the last week.)

Otherwise, things are good. DH gets to come home for 4 days at Christmas...4 days of good sleep!? Yes!! And they had the recruits turn in their top 3 posts they want to be put at. Hopefully, and we are putting a lot of hope into this one, we get central Indy. Apparently, there were quite a few recruits that want central Indy. My mom is going to be our child care (what a blessing!!) and my work is letting me come back 3 days a week, so staying here would be the best thing for us. I know, sounds selfish, but moving, in the dead of winter, with an infant, does not sound like a piece of cake to me. And to be far away from my family w/our new baby, I'll probably have a panic attack, lol. We should find out the first of the year. If you might whisper a prayer our way, that would be appreciated..Thank you =)

Oh also, how do you know that a bladder infection has moved into your kidneys? I think my intuition is telling me that the antibiotics aren't working. I'm in almost constant pain, it's hard to walk, I'm still peeing 100x a day, and I have uncontrollable back pain. I'm going through those bladder pain pills (that make your pee turn orange, I can't remember the name) like they are candy. I don't want anything to effect Miss E, so I'm just wondering what the next step is. Dr. F is gonna be like, you are a hypochondriac, but it just feels like I'm not getting any better.

Okay, that is all, off to try and get some sleep.

Ugh & Blah

This week feels like it is taking FOREVER. And it's not been a good time. Remember how I told you Allie ate a whole pan of brownies last Friday? Well, she's be on & off sick all weekend. Monday, she seemed fined. Then Tuesday, she was just really lethargic, and had 4-5 diarrhea accidents. It was awful. Then last night, my mom picked her up at my house, where she destroyed a trash can (I can't believe I left it out, I've been so scatterbrained lately) and had 5 more accidents. I know that they were accidents because she's been a jerk before when she was angry, and has pooped on the carpet. This time, it was on the wood floor, near the front door, so I know she was trying to hold it. Poor gal. Then, at my parents house, she had 6 accidents overnight. She has never, EVER pottied in their house. EVER. I went to bed around 12am, and was up every hour to take her outside, clean up shit, and pee. I got about an hour total of sleep. Finally, around 4:15am I took Allie home so she could be comfortable and I didn't have to worry about her messing at my parents house. They live about 40 minutes away. To say I am exhausted would be an understatement. I think she has some stomach virus, and I'm gonna call the vet tomorrow. She's still eating & drinking fine, and she played yesterday at my parents house, plus she played here at home, and then sleeps for like 4hrs straight, lol.

Work today was a cluster as well. We only had 1 massage therapist, and one of the doctors waaay overscheduled, and I had to help in the back as well as running the front desk. I *know* I overdid it again today and I know I have got to stop doing that. Dr. F is gonna be really peeved at me tomorrow. But sometimes things have to get done. On top of that. the person we've hired to help & learn my job (for when I'm on maternity leave) is NOT working out. It's bad news. She just isn't catching on, blames anyone else when she messes up, and pretty much just doesn't care about the job. She has money, so she doesn't "need" this job, but this is MY job. Which I am coming back to, and I don't want it totally messed up to the point where I have to re-do everything. Ugh. It's just a mess. On a good note. I got my money!!! I'll be able to pay off my bill w/o going to court, plus have some leftover. I about shit my own pants. I couldn't believe it. I am so thankful.

Im really ready for E to be home this week. We are supposed our first winter storm. We got snow last weekend, but this is supposed to be a thrashing. It has been so, SO cold here. Like the HIGH today was 12 degrees. It's just be sub-artic. Every night the temp falls below zero. I'm ready for E to be home because I am so done being knee deep in dog excrement, and because I feel like a zombie, and like I'm getting sick. I'm gonna have Dr. F look at my throat and nose tomorrow. Oh, and hopefully, I'll get another u/s. My mom is going to try and come to the appointment, and if she does, then I'll for sure get one. Can't wait to see how big baby girl is. She is moving around so much now, it's crazy.

Okay, I'm exhausted. I'm literally running on fumes. Have a good night!!

I Love The Lazy Days

This weekend has been an exercise in laziness and family. I'm telling you..The only thing that gets me through M-Th is the fact that E comes home on Friday. I just miss him so much. And I feel like sometimes, he is missing this whole pregnancy. When he comes home, he just loves on Baby E, and she LOVES it. Her first word will be dada, count on it. She is just so much more active when she knows he is home. I wonder if it is because I am more relaxed when he is here? The last 2 nights, she has woken me up @ 3am and just starts moving and groovin..and I have to eat. I get so hungry!! And we watch tv, and she just goes ballistic. It's like my belly is made of jello. Just moving all over. I secretly hope this becomes something she does when she's born. It's like our time together. I can't wait to meet her. You have no idea!! Oh also, my fingers get pretty swollen during the day (not sausage fingers, yet) but enough that I had to move my rings to my necklace. Makes me so sad!! I love my rings and my fingers just feel nekkid. E ordered me a new ring to wear until the swelling goes down (awww) and it should be here next week. It's really pretty, biggish center stone, fakey, but hey, as long as my finger doesn't turn green, I don't care. Such a sweet guy =)

We have really just stayed in our jammies today and yesterday, put up more Christmas decorations, watched the snow, napped, taken care of Miss Allie, watched the baby move, oh, we heard her HB on the stethescope!! Watched moveis, tv, laughed, hugged, been together. Its' just been wonderful. Seriously. One of the best weekends ever. We've got about 100% of nothing accomplished and I'm totally okay w/that. The next few weekends are going to be jammed packed, so it's been nice to have one where we don't really have anything to do. Now, off to finish Christmas cards, nap, & watch the Colts (hopefully WIN something!!)

Hope you all had a lovely weekend!!

1st Snow =)

It's been pretty much a perfect Saturday..E is home, Baby E is moving around like crazy, Allie is all better, and it's snowed about 4inches. It's gorgeous. I love it. And Allie goes berserkers in the snow. The prissest dog LOVES the snow. It's hilarious to watch her..We've just stayed in our fleece jammies, watched tv & movies, cleaned a little bit, made some dinner, slept in, took naps, etc. Great day. I love it when E is home. Here's some pics =)

Allie...sliding in the snow and burying her face..Oh yes we do let her go leash free in the snow, she LOVES it!!

28wk1d belly pic looking down..See how you can hardly see my feet? Yeah, that big..Sitting down it doesn't look that big, but standing, good heavens.

Allison Renee sniffing the snow. Such a silly dog.

The view from my computer desk..I love it. Our tree is so pretty this year!!

Our outside lights..And then Noblesville over the lake..I love winter nights..Really =)

Oh The Excitement..

That is my life..Said in a semi-sarcastic tone of voice..Let's start w/last night..

I got home from work around 6:00pm..and carried in groceries, and did 3 loads of laundry and had dinner. Big E called around 8pm, and I realized that Baby E wasn't moving very much. So after we talked, I laid on my left side for an hour and the baby only moved 2 times. I figured she was just sleeping and I fell asleep. I woke up at 10:30 and realized she still hadn't moved, so I called Dr. F around 11pm, and he told me that he thought everything was fine, but to head to the hospital..Commence freaking out. Seriously. No one wants to hear this, but I imm. tried to think how I was going to tell everyone that our baby had died. I just can't not think this way. After loosing 6 pregnancies, it's all I can do. I skip over any rational thought directly to "mortal peril." I know, to "normal" people, it's ridiculous, but to me, it's the norm. And I know it's macabre, but I just can't help it. So I call K (my boss, friend, and baby's godmother) and she says I am not going to the hospital alone, and to meet her at her house and she will drive me. She was a godsend. She talked me down from the ledge, asked WHY did I overdo it (I'm on a 10lb weight limit, so carrying in groceries may not have been the best choice, but what was I gonna do?) We got to the hospital and I went to L&D (which further freaked me out) and they put me on the monitor, and there, 164bpm, was my baby's heartbeat. Still, the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. They used this buzzy thing (that i want to get for home) and buzzed her 3x. She moved about 8000x in the next hour. It was amazing. K said that she would watch my belly and actually could see little body parts. She said my belly looked like jelly. And she would move so hard that it would make my leg twitch involuntarily. Insanity. Dr. F actually met us at the hospital (that's how awesome he is) and he said she had moved head down (whereas she has been transverse or footling breech) and that's why I didn't feel the big movements as much. He also got on my case for overdoing it..lol. He said she was and is absolutely fine, her movement was "fantastic" and she was probably just sleeping or burrowed in really low..and since my injections sites are really low, I won't push as hard there cause it hurts. I was really, really scared. More then I have been so far in this pregnancy. And now, I am keeping track of every single movement. I get worried when it's more then 15 minutes w/o movement. Which I know is dumb because Dr. F said she sleeps 20-30 minutes every HOUR. So obviously, there won't be movements all the time. But I am so relieved. She's fine. She's healthy. I am so lucky, so thankful, so amazed that she is mine. We are going to have a baby =)

So let me tell you about tonight. I have been waiting all week for E to come home..like, more then usual. He got home before me..and guess what he came home to? Let me preface this with the fact that Allie only got to go to daycare once this week cause we are poor and I worked 5 days in a row that were long days..so $20 a day x 5 days=way too much money. And she's been really good. Not pottying in the house or anything. Defn. getting into things (a whole box of sweethearts last night, ripping apart boxes, toilet paper, etc). So E comes home to diarrhea & vomit All. Over. The . House. Oh my God. I can only imagine. When I got home it was still awful, I can't believe he didn't kill her. Apparently she was PISSED today, and she pushed a whole container of brownies onto the floor, ripped off the lid..and ate all the brownies...and we all know how bad chocolate is for dogs. She's lucky she's not dead. It was just awful. Nasty. Horrible. Never seen anything like it. We had to run out & get all kinds of cleaning supplies. What we had on tap just wasn't cutting it. OMG. I don't know what to do w/her. I literally put everything away. I know that brownie pan was pushed way back on the stove. IDK how she got it down. I just, UGH. It was not how I wanted DH to come home, cause, uh obviously, he wasn't in such a good mood the rest of the night. Bad. Bad. Bad. She seems to be okay right now, she had a ton of energy, and now she's sleeping at the foot of the bed. Gah.

Oh, and when we went out for dinner, I wasn't super hungry, so now, of course, now, I'm STARVING. Nighttime hunger will be the death of me. And it's supposed to snow 2-5 inches tomorrow, I'm so excited. We had our first snow on Monday, I didn't get any pics of that, but it was just a dusting. Can't wait to take pics of the snow and to get the rest of our Christmas decorations out. Yay!!

Things I've Realized...

• Dr. F said at my last appointment (2 wks ago) that he would not stop labor after 35wks..So since I'll be 28wks tomorrow..that leaves about 7wks to be completely prepared for this little girl. OMG.
• This little girl has to come out. I forgot about that part. Either the regular way or through an incision. Hmm..This is not gonna be a great big ol time.
• I still check the TP. Every single time.
• Everytime she doesn't move for more then 2hrs. I freak out. I forget that she sleeps. And the other night my bloggy BFF had to talk me down from the ledge because she hadn't moved in 4hrs. After talking me down from the ledge, my little gal went ballistic. It was awesome. 
• I'm pretty sure I'll be nervous til I have her in my arms. I know I shouldn't "worry" this pregnancy away, but I don't know that I can't. I try not to every day..but there is a fleeting thought all the time.
• I'm tempted to take another digital HPT just to see that beautiful word again..Most of the time, I still don't realize how awesomely our lives are going to change. We are going.to.have A BABY. Whoa.
• I also haven't taken in to account what it means that my husband is going to be a full time State Trooper. I mean, he was trying for small, podunct towns, and now, he will be a FT officer on the largest department in the state. That is so amazing.
• I probably should start alterations on the old bridesmaid dress. Ugh. More money we don't have. Oh well, it must be done, can't be waddling down the aisle w/my boobs hanging out.
• I think my iron is low. I am craving ice like CRAZY. Just TONS of it. 
• Okay, thats all. Now I'm hungry..and want some ice..lol.

I Wish I Could Hug My Husband

I've talked him the last 2 nights, which is really nice, but kind of sucks because usually he only gets 2 nights a week to call, so I like it when one is like early and one is later in the week. Oh well. He says he should get an hour a week, so we'll see how that goes. Now here's why I want to give him a hug. He hasn't seemed as "up" as he usually does, and I can always tell when something is wrong. Tonight was one of those nights. They have been doing firearms from 8-5 and will continue doing so til Friday. So he is in pain and is exhausted. They are getting him up @ 5am and not letting them go to bed til 10pm. That's a long f-ing day. With some PT thrown in, I know saying he is in "pain" doesn't even cover it. He also is the assistant squad leader this week, which sounds like it should be awesome, it is the exact opposite. Each night, the recruits are supposed to turn in some kind of cards, I think it's demerit/merit cards? I'm not sure. In his squad, over half of them aren't doing it, in turn, my husband gets punishment..Extra push-ups, sit-ups, running, arm hangs, etc. Because the SQUAD isn't doing what they are supposed to be doing. W.T.F?! He just sounded run down tonight. Like he did during the 2nd week. Ugh. And then he went to turn his cards in & they said they didn't want to see him because he didn't KNOCK hard enough on the door. Are you fucking kidding me? I told him to kick the fucking door down next time, and see if thats hard enough. I'm telling you, at "graduation" I'm gonna hit these people in the face w/their hats. That is just ridiculous. I just want to hug him, and get in people's faces. So it's a good thing that I'm not the one at the academy. I'd would've been fired in week 1. Ugh. I'm really ready for all of this to be over and to have my husband home. Gah.

Also, 2 sidenotes. My dog is having trouble jumping up on the bed and in & out of the car (I have a Honda CRV) and it seems that her back legs are giving her trouble, but only doing those 2 things, otherwise, she's fine. Any ideas? She's a Boxer, if that helps. And my doctor gave me Tylenol 3 for my migraines, he wouldn't give me something that would hurt the baby, correct? I just love feeling her move, and I feel like she "slows down" when I take it. I've needed it all day, and have just been nervous. I know it probably won't hurt her, and not taking it is just stressing me out, which is no good either. Ugh.

Seriously?!

Here's how tonight's gone..

• Oveflowed my pasta, and trying to clean it up set a towel on fire.
• Moved the pot to another burner, turned the wrong one on and started burning the pan my brownies were in
• Off goes the smoke detector
• Burned the side of my hand trying to move the pan
• Dropped flour all over my kitchen floor
• Migraine
• Congestion
• And, hey, we're still poor, awesome
• I'm done w/tonight, I'm going to bed. Seriously.

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like..

Chaos? Debt? Stress? Christmas?

I know this should be a super joyous time, and it is, I promise. But when I look at all the medical bills we have right now, coupled w/our "regular" bills..Ugh. There is so much I want to do, and we should be able to do more since E's salary has almost doubled..But the BILLS. Ugh. Always ruining things. I try to be in a good mood when E is home, especially this week, but just looking at how much is coming out & how much is going in. Just scares me. IDK if my boss is going to come through on the money he owes me. The person above me (our office manager, K) talked to him about it last week and low-balled the amount we need. WHY!? I literally need him to give me $600 or more (and he owes me $2000, so I'm not asking for much). She told him we only needed $400 (which isn't even HALF of the bill). Why would she do that? I'm not saying he's gonna give me any, but we don't have any extra $600 just sitting around the house. IDK what happens in small claims court, but I might just find out on December 15th. Hopefully they will be able to work w/me and set up a payment plan. Thinking of that, I need to write out my debt to income ratio. Oh joy.

Ugh. On to the happier part of my post. We put up & decorated our tree last night. E was in a grinch-y mood so that was fun. I had to tell him to tone his bad attitude down, and he eventually did, after we took a break and went to DQ (where Moo had her FIRST blizzard!!) and went to Reynolds Park to see their light display. The tree looks really good, although I only have about 1/2 of our ornaments on it. And we've got some Christmas decorations out. I plan to do the rest this week. Want to see? Of course you do =)

Okay, so here is Moo, E, & Allie, getting ready to start sorting the piles of what Moo calles "pom pom" which are the tree limbs. Allie is already worn out. I *adore* this picture =)

Allie is jealous of Moo, she had to be held her ownself while Moo was out of the room. Silly dog.

Here they are getting the piles together, while Moo is being curious and needs to help AT ALL TIMES. Notice that Allie must also be near E AT ALL TIMES. =)

It's getting there. I love how Moo is camouflaged in the tree. Can you see her?

 Here is E "fluffing" the tree..Moo is nowhere to be seen and neither is Allie, they were both in time out..lol.

And here is the finished project. I think it could use more lights, but E says no, that I must control myself. If I could put so many lights on the tree that it just looked like a light up thing and not a tree, I totally would.

E & the dog are SO TIRED from all this work. Good heavens, all 20 minutes of it..=)

 The following are from Reynolds Park Light Display..The Abominable Snowman..

Old McReynolds Barn & Animals

 Noah's Ark, to which Moo stated "I didn't know there were Kangaroo's on the ark!! That's not in the Bible!!"

Just a menagerie of lights..So pretty!!








Okay, now I'm off to cook lunch, hopefully catch a nap before we have to head to Thanksgiving dinner w/E's dad, his wife, and her "lovely" children. Gah. At least it's at Golden Corral this year instead of Ryan's where everyone gets food posioning. Hope your Sunday is great!!

Third Trimester

OMG, can you believe it!? I cannot!! This is the last countdown until baby girl gets here..I never imagined we would ever be in this place..When I got my updater email thing, I couldn't believe it said "In the 3rd Trimester..." and it was for me..I am so excited!!

Today started for me at 2:15am..Yep, I was one of those crazies out at the stores by 3am. I couldn't pass up all the good deals at Kohls, seriously!! And it was a madhouse!! We had to wait outside for 30 minutes (and it has gone from 50 & sunny to 22 & icy) so that was fun, and then people were just rushing to get in the door. It was chaos..and I loved it. I got Moo basically finished and everyone else, a good head start. I'm one of those people that waits until, oh, December 20th to start my shopping, so this was good for me. Oh, and E got me the hand mixer I've been wanting. I told him to wrap it up and give it to me, cause w/PG brain, I'll forget by Christmas =)

And for your viewing pleasure, some pictures from Thanksgiving..

This is me making my grandma's recipe for dumplings for the first time..They were SO good and I made so many we'll get to have some for Christmas =)

 This is Miss Allison yesterday morning and she was cold, so she "burrito'd" herself in the blankets. Too cute too not take a picture =)

This is how to cook Italian Thanksgiving Stuffing. Included..pancetta, celery, onions, garlic, mushrooms, and sage sausage..SO good!!

This is us..The 2.5 of us..Damn that light between our heads. Oh and my double chin. Brrnt.

Does anyone else see something wrong w/this picture? *Note the dog at the top of the bed*

 This is the family minus me..Dad, Big E, & Mom












I hope you all had a fantastically phenomenal Thanksgiving..Now, too put up the tree, watch Christmas Vacation, and head to Reynolds Park to see the light display (pictures to follow, of course).

Thanksgiving in my Heart

I am also gonna do the post about things I am thankful for..It may be cliched, but it's completely true =)

1. DH, my rock, my funny guy, the best husband in the world, with the biggest heart and the hugest drive to live out his dreams. He is going to be a great daddy and I am so lucky to get to spend the rest of my life w/him. 
2. My pregnancy and the baby it will bring. I can't believe I'll be 27wks tomorrow, that just seems UNREAL to me. I never thought we'd be here and it certainly didn't happen on our time. God knew exactly when to send baby girl to us, and even though it's been hard w/DH gone, it's His perfect timing. I am thankful every.single.day. I can't wait to meet her.
3. Our families. My mom has been so supportive while E has been gone. She comes over during the week, helps me with housework and keeps me company. We hang out w/them on Sundays, and we all just get along so well. We are lucky that my parents and his mom live so close. They'll be able to have a close relationship w/their granddaughter and with us. It's pretty great.
4. The roof over our heads. I love our apartment, and I love where we live. I feel safe, and I love all of our space. It's worth the eleventy thousand dollars it costs each month =)
5. The internet and this blog community. I have made some dear friends through my blog, and I'm lucky to know them. Plus, the support has meant to the world too me. Through all of our losses, and through this pregnancy and through the ups & downs of general life. I am greatful. And the internet, hello. I don't remember a time without Facebook, email, online news, etc. I'm a big fan.
6. My new car. We had freezing rain yesterday, and I'm telling you, my old car would not have made it, I would have felt really unsafe. My new car was awesome. And it's the small things, like having 2 working turn signals, a rear and front defroster, and HEAT that make my day. I took all that for granted until I didn't have them. I am lucky that we were able to get the car.
7. Moo-Moo, my favorite little girl. I can't wait to see her interact w/the baby. She is so awesome, and teaches us to love every single moment out of life. 
8. Great medical care and the ability to choose our doctor. Dr. J was so awesome and integral in helping us get pregnant, Dr. F is the best OB ever and I love him. I wouldn't want anyone else to take care of me and our little girl.

I'm sure there are a lot of other little things I'm thankful for, like the food we are going to eat today, but I must go get ready and finish my cooking. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!

ICLW Intro & Update

Hi!! And welcome if you are visiting from ICLW. I'm sorry about yesterday's post, but jeez, I was just feeling overwhelmed. Today was better. Work was okay, I think my boss is bi-polar, but whatever. Just get me to Wednesday @ 4pm. Then I'm off for 4 days and E is home. Yay!!

*Introduction*

Okay, I've done this before, but I like it & it makes me think =)

ABC's of Me

A: Is for Ann, my middle name
B: Is for baby & boxer..one of which we have now, named Allie, and one of which we will have in late February 2011
C: Is for candles, which I *love* and am on a "moratoriam" from buying from both my husband and my mom, ugh (but did I sneak in some Christmas ones? oh yes I did)
D: Is for doctor, and I work for 2 of them
E: Is the first initial of both my husband and our little girl =)
F: Is for Fall, my MOST favorite season (we got engaged in September, married in October, and my bday is in November)
G: Is for *girl* the gender of our baby!!
H: Is for hash browns, one of my favorite breakfast foods
I: Is for ice, something I am not looking forward to this winter
J: Is the first initial of our last name =)
K: Is for kicking, which I finally started feeling on a regular basis
L: Is for lazy, how I feel most of the time, I attempt to do things, but I'm just exhausted when I get home from work
M: Is for Medical Assistant, which is my job title, and Moo-Moo, the little girl we are helping raise, whom we love like she is our own
N: Is for nursing school, I was accepted last summer, but decided that having a baby and going to school and working full time was too much, I plan to go back in about a year
O: Is for orange pop, something I've been craving my whole pregnancy, DIET of course =)
P: Is for purple, my favorite color, any shade, any time and for police, which is my husband's job title

Q: Is for queen, cause I like to pretend that I am, even though we all know it's Allie =)
R: Is for rad, one of my favorite words
S: Is for sports, especially COLTS football, love, love love!!
T: Is for Tennessee, mainly the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area, one of our MOST favorite places to visit, we cannot wait to take baby girl there
U: Is for ultra sound, of which I will take as many as Dr. F wants to give me..I just love seeing her!!
V: Is for vision, which mine has changed, and I need new glasses, ugh
W: Is for WWE, one of my favorite shows, I know, it's fake, but I LOVE it!!
X: Is for x-ray vision, which I think would be cool to have....sometimes (and you know what I mean, other times it would be YUCK!!)
Y: Is for yellow, one of my LEAST favorite colors
Z: Is for zzzzz's which I don't get nearly enough of


Okay, so thats me, in alphabetical order. Had my doctor's appointment today, the baby is fat & sassy, and gorgeous. And I got a new due date!! February 25, 2011. She's measuring 26wk3d, I'm so excited. I don't want her to come before she's ready, but I can't wait to meet her. 3 weeks ago Dr. F and I were talking about how long he'd let me go, today, he said "I don't know that you'll make it to March 2nd." Word. Oh and she is stubborn. Not even *attempting* to turn head down. Her head is all up in my ribs and her feet are below my navel, so she is long. And probably has no need in her mind to turn. We'll talk c-sections at my next appointment. Oh, and I graduated to every 2 weeks appointments!! That is a huge deal for a RPL girl. I cried. I know. But I never though we'd get to the point where I have to be seen every 2 weeks. Just awesome. And next week, we get into the the 3rd (and FINAL) trimester!! Can you believe that? I'm just really excited!! Obviously by my over-use of the exclamation points. Oh, and I think it's the year of the girl. 3 of my 4 cousins are having babies, all girls, my good friend Melissa=girl, and our pastors wife=girl. Yay!!

Seriously...

*Preface*
Welcome, if you are newly here from ICLW. I'm going to tell you that usually I have pretty okay blog entries that are also random. But tonight, I am just overloaded. Please excuse me. I am also doing a 30 day blog challenge that I am 3 days behind on. I *promise* I will catch up and do an awesome intro tomorrow, tonight, I'm just beat. Please feel free to read of if you want, but I understand if this entry isn't your bag of chips.

I am beyond stressed. There is some serious work stuff going on, one of my medical bills needs to be paid by 12-15 (and it's $1000), and I'm just finding it really hard to deal. I do NOT want it to affect the baby, but I don't know how it can't when I'm not sleeping or eating right because I'm so stressed. I see Dr. F tomorrow to "discuss" my work situation. It's been ongoing for some time, causing migraines and meltdowns and I'm concerned he's gonna want to do bedrest, which I will get serious shit for at work. It's like, they don't care that I'm pregnant. Which, I know, doesn't matter to everyone, but when work stress starts affecting my pregnancy, and the only thing I want is to have this baby, ON TIME, not early, then something has GOT to change. I'm just worried. Oh, and my boss owes me over $2000 in "bonus" money, which he is refusing to pay me, that I have never asked for, except now, and I don't want all of it, just the money to pay my medical bill w/o having to go to court. Just fuck. Seriously. I'm just so done. Ugh.

So I'm also like 3 days behind on the Blog Challenge...And at this point, I'm just gonna go to bed. I swear I will catch it up tomorrow. I'm just overloaded.

And Now I Am 28

I'm telling you, for some reason, I've been dreading "28". I'm not sure why. Maybe because of all the hard stuff we've had to go through over the last few years. Maybe because it feels like "30" is looming so close. I don't know. But what I do know, is that 28, will bring me my daughter, and for that, I am no longer afraid. I am ecstatic. If you had told me 1 year ago, that I would be 6 months pregnant w/our little girl, I wouldn't have believed it possible. If you had added in that my husband would FINALLY be in the police academy, a dream he has been attempting for the last 4 years, I would have fainted dead away. To be successfully pregnant and have DH in the academy, seemed like just that, a dream. And now, we're here. It is the most amazing 6 months, and I am greatful for every single second. I can't wait to meet our girl, I can't wait for my husband to be the sworn officer he has always wanted to be, I'm just so excited. Thank you for sharing with me over the last year, and helping me get to this place.

Now, as you can tell, I'm doing about 2 days at a time for my blog challenge. For Day 17, I am supposed to post a picture of a piece of artwork and the artist who made it. My picture is "Jimson Weed" by Georgia O'Keefe. The first time I saw it in the Indianapolis Museum of Art, I cried. Seriously. She is an AMAZING artist and I have loved it from the first time I saw it (when I was 10). I would love to own even a copy of it some day. Here it is. Gorgeous!

Blog challenge Day 18 is a picture of my wedding, which I think is fitting, since DH has helped me get through all of the crap the last year has thrown at us. Let me try to find one that I think is really rad.

Okay, I chose this picture because I feel like your eye is drawn to just us. Not to be narcissistic or anything, but that's how this dance was. It was just us. Surrounded by people we love, but it was just the 2 of us. Nothing could stop us or slow us down. We were completely, unabashedly in love. And we still are. It's stronger now, more so every day. IDK if it's because of our daughter, or because we were seperated, or because we now see each other 2.5 days a week, but my mom told me last weekend that it was almost like she could love going between us. Like a cord that connected the two of us to each other. She said it felt like she was looking at herself and my dad. Like we are unbreakable. It was an awesome description. I hope our baby sees that. How much we love each other, and how much we are completely in love with her.

Day 16 and More

So for blog challenge Day 16, I'm supposed to list a song that always makes me cry. Besides, like EVERY song these days? One that gets me, even when I'm not PG, if "I Loved Her First" by Heartland. When we were picking "dance" songs for our weddings, I just randomly googled "Father/Daughter" dance and this one came up. I immedietly knew it was the song for us. I just love. It's such a good description of our relationship, and how I think my dad felt on my wedding day. He never really showed that much emotion, but during our dance, he teared up..and then made me laugh. And now that we are having a daughter, I hope she chooses it for her first dance too. I know the words describe how E will feel. Over the weekend, he said "We're having a daughter." I was like "yes, very good honey." And he said "we're gonna have to throw her a wedding some day, can you believe that?" I just smiled and laughed. He was so cute about it. I just can't wait to meet her!!

 I am SO frustrated. I ordered pizza from papa.johns over and HOUR ago, when they said it would be 35 minutes, now I'm on hold for the last SEVEN minutes. Wtf? Can someone explain what is going on? I am totally not paying for this order. It's not like there's a blizzard outside. It's raining. Plus, the PJ near us, is literally like 2 miles away. It's not a drive. Ugh. Im SO hungry.

Some PG questions..Does anyone have any relief for restless legs? They tingle and hurt and just feel like I have to keep moving if I sit for more then 10 minutes at a time. It's usually not as bad at work (or maybe I just don't notice it as much) but at home, oh my goodness. It's awful. And I don't know how to make it go away. I know potassium helps leg cramps, but does it also help this? I'm not a big fan of bananas and you know I'm not eating much protein (meat wise anyway) sooooo..any suggestions?


And the tingling in my arms/hands..I think it has to do w/carpal tunnel during pregnancy? Do I just need to take more breaks or is there something I can do? Like exercises or something? IDK. I just know it's annoying, but for her, it's okay. I just don't like the pins & needles feelings.

Must .Angry.Blog

I *hate* Mondays, especially THIS particular Monday..In no particular fucked up order..

• We had nerve tests scheduled for this morning. I busted my ASS to get them scheduled, and even got hollered at last week that I wasn't doing "enough" last week (suck my big toe) and when I got to work, no one was there, not the tech, not the doctor etc. FINALLY dumbfuck Dr. walks in and announces they've been cancelled telling 100% NO ONE. Fuck.
• Morning sickness plus gastrointestinal difficulties=AWESOME (it was a nice few weeks off the MS)
• 2 bill collectors called. One wanted over $600 right.this.minute. BAHAHAAHAH!!!! Got a payment plan set up. It's for old medical bills that I've ignored because, well, I don't have the money, obviously. The other one called, caused I missed my "payment plan" date. I really did loose the information, and not even on purpose. I didn't mean to miss that one, since it'll be taken care of in a few payments. So those will both come out Friday. Plus all of our bills are due next week, and we are gonna be POOR. As usual. I hate medical bills. I really feel like my insurance should've picked more of this up or there should be a "multiple dead babies/lost PG insurance" that covers this shit. 
• Allie injured herself getting in the car this morning. I thought she was okay. Nope. Her doggie daycare called and told me to come get her, she was that bad off. ER trip to the vet, for only $48 (thank God) and she has strained (or sprained?) her ACL. Resulting in me having to take the rest of the day off work to make sure she doesn't injure it further. Right. So on the week I need EXTRA hours, I loose 8. Dammit. 
• My birthday is Thursday. All I wanted was a Gameboy DS. Now, I want to win the lottery. Or one of those lucky $1000 scratch offs. Whichever.

The following DO NOT suck and are therefore keeping me OFF the ledge today.

• Baby girl has a NAME!! I don't want to reveal it here yet (yep, that superstitious) but her initials will be ELJ. I was seriously at the point that I hated every.single.name ever made. And I actually prayed about it and talked to baby girl about it and yesterday, I had a dream where she was CLEARLY named. And it wasn't on any of our lists, not even close. And the case was closed. This WILL be her name. Can't wait to share it in a few months. It's just different enough, but not off the charts "weird."
• She is moving like crazy. She actually kicked back last night and I felt it from the outside and the inside. I screamed, it was amazing. E was concered, lol, but he got to feel it too. Amaze-Balls. Yes I did just use that term to describe something our baby did. Ahh, I'm a good mom already.
• Tonight is WWE-Raw, and it's throwback night. All the old stars and old clips will be on. Can't wait!!
• This weekend HP-6 (the first half comes out) and that is what DH and I are doing for my b-day (I think also dinner). And oh yes I did just bitch about money and are planning something for my b-day. Sorry, it's my bday. I'll go to the poor house for my bday. Whatever.
• Day 13 of the blog challenge is: A Fictional Book..Okay, my favorite fictional book is "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.

• Day 14: A Non-Fiction Book..I don't read many non-fiction books (it used to drive my parents crazy, esp. my librarian mom) so I'll list another of my favorite fiction books (by another favorite author, Edgar Allen Poe).

• And today: Day 15: A picture of my dream house..Now my dream house is different because I do NOT want 2 floors. I was a LARGE ranch w/vaulted ceilings, although, I do love myself a loft. Let me see if I can find a pic..I want 3-4 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, big kitchen, big family, room, HUGE master BR w/afireplace etc. You know, the usual, out my reach thing..Something like this...

•  Looks smallish, but isn't, it goes deep, etc.Just something similar to this please =)

Now, Im off to cook some spaghetti, thanks for letting me vent.

Sick Bay

Ugh. Illness. Gross. Moo-Moo came over this weekend..She missed a day of school last week due to illness (of the puke variety) and she was fine when we got her. She's been up & down in terms of energy but hasn't acted "sick" until today. We were having lunch @ Olive Garden and she went down hill fast. She got really feverish, and laid her head down on the table and went to sleep. Her temp is a little bit high and she says her belly hurts. She's laying in bed watching Christmas Vacation and snoozing on & off. Yesterday, at the shower, my mom was horrifically sick. Lets say she was the exact opposite of constipated. It was bad. I thought we were gonna have to take her to urgent care. She rallied and made it to most of the shower. But went home and was sick all night and most of this morning. And then me. Who is also the opposite of constipated all of today and super nauseated. I haven't had to bust out the Zofran since 17wks. But we're there. I feel just gross. I don't want to do anything, I want to sleep, ugh. And we need to go to the store, BIG TIME, and do some laundry and I'm just like, nope. So for now, I'm gonna go lay down, hopefully feel a little bit better cause we need SUSTANCE in this house. And if I feel better later, I'll update my blog challenge. Yeah, doing great on that.

Uh Oh *Updated*

So I have extreme swelling of the legs/feet/ankles..and a persistent headache w/some visual disturbances..Ugh. I don't want to do this. I hope it's just because I was on my feet for so long today. Waiting for Dr. F. to call back and tell us what to do.FUCK.


*Dr. F. called me back. Said he isn't "overly" concerned..Sounds like I was just on my feet way too much today. I'm supposed to lay on my left side and drink plenty of water..Which I have been. Take Tylenol, etc. If I'm still swollen tomorrow, then bedrest til Monday morning, when he wants to see me. If not I have go to church, etc, but still have to be majority off my feet. We'll see how it goes, but I'm glad it's nothing "major." 

Great Big Ol Good News

Dr. F's office called yesteday, I passed my GTT w/flying colors..The acceptable range is 92-140 (which I feel like is a really big range) but anyway, my sugar was 102!! Yay, no more yucky drink for me. My iron was low, and he was concerned, so I'm on iron supplements and we'll recheck in a few weeks. Seems the blood thinners are doing their job, maybe too well. And, the bestest news....I've only gained 9 (!!!) pounds! OMG. How is this possible? I've been on a steady diet of Diet Sunkist Lemonade and chocolate muffins. Jeez. That is pretty rad. And Dr. F said obviously, my weight gain is baby, boobs, and uterus, since I've only gained that much weight and I'm still hooooooge. She's just gonna be a big girl. Yay =)

Also, let me give a MASSIVE shout-out to my dearest Melissa. She sent me the most cutest baby gift set ever!! It is a pink hat, booties, burp cloth, blanket, and bib all w/frogs and flowers..It is amazing and cute, and I am so lucky to have her as a friend..Even though we've never met in real life. We need to adjust that and soon. Wisconsin isn't so far..right? =)

Okay, since I'm 2 days behind on my blog challenge I need to double up..For day 12, I'm supposed to post a recent picture of me, so here goes.

This from our maternity session w/my mom about 3wks ago. It's the most recent picture I have. I love this picture. We are doing a series for our maternity (like fall, winter, spring, her birth) etc.

For day 12, I'm supposed to post something I'm OCD about. It doesn't say a picture, so I'll just tell you. I could a list as long as a football field about stuff that peeves me, but I guess that isn't exactly OCD. Hmm..I'm OCD about having everything w/in reach and in it's place when I go to bed. Such as, I need to have my nasal spray, my inhaler, and my phone by.the.bed. And I have to know where the remote is and I can't go to sleep w/o any of these things. Also, since E's now gone during the week, I check the front door lock, all the windows, and in the closet. I KNOW. But I must do this, just to make sure. Oh, and I sleep w/my purse and keys next to the bed as well, you know, in case of a quick exit =) 

In the process of getting ready for this blessed bridal shower tomorrow, I wanted to get my nails done. Unfortunately I ran out of time. So I did some glue-on nails (and they look like I paid big bucks for them) and managed to glue together 4 fingers. 2 on each hand. It was big fun tearing my skin apart. Also, I'm craving Burger King & Steak & Shake and DH said he'd go get me whatever I want (such a good husband) but I feel bad so I'm stuffing my face w/a chocolate muffin. Take that good sugar levels!!

Short, Sweet, Bullets

• Today was a great day at work, until my jackbag boss got caught in quite a few lies, and if you followed along, he CANNOT deal w/being caught lying and he NEVER admits fault. He went ballistic. I was so stressed that I had cramping. I DO NOT have time for this and I plan on telling him this tomorrow. It's bullshit.
• I miss E. Lots. I'm ready for him to come home. He sounds so good on the phone =)
• The First Wives Club is a great movie!!
• Sometimes you just have to say YES to ham & cheddar sandwhiches (2) and a large cheddar fry from Arbys. 
• Twice in a row I have tried to take a HOT bath, and the stupid f-ing water has run out before it even got half way up the tub. W.T.F!?
• 2 of my coworkers felt the baby move today. It was so funny to see their faces.
• This nighttime hunger is KILLING me. Im currently cooking some homemade soup. Ugh.
• Allie alerts for NO REASON. My mom thinks I flip out for no reason. Oh hell no. The dog helps w/this very much. She alerts because there's a spider on the floor, or the wind blows, or our upstairs neighbors make noise. Dumb. Oh, and my mom said to call security, bahahaha...the only security is the 9mm in the side drawer. Holla. 
• Day 10: A picture from 10yrs ago...well I found one from 9 years ago..Will that do? My mom has all of the old pics of me (before digital times) and I just happened to have one from my grandma's 80th bday last April, she had photo collages..So here goes nothing..I was 20 yrs old. Oh my goodness!!

• Yep, I used to be a blonde. Like white blonde. I was such a hottie and didn't even know it. I wish I could have told myself then "have some f-ing self esteem, you are GORGEOUS!!!! Enjoy life, stop worrying so much." Ugh. But yeah, look how young I am, an no double chin, dammit , I look good. Lol!!
• I'm 6mos pregnant today..We have reached VIABILITY!! Can you believe it?! And just to prove she's alive and kicking..she's been doing just that. I'm starting to think that we might actually be bringing home a baby this spring..6 months!! I have more months behind me in this pregnancy then ahead of me. I am ecstatic!!
• Soups done..Must feed the babeh!!!

Day 9 & Other Ramblings

So today I'm supposed to post a picture I took..So there's over 1500 on my computer..that I took. I mainly take all of the pictures you see on this blog (minus our wedding ones, oh and the u/s ones). Let me see if I can narrow it down.

I'm going to add 2 completely random pics cause you know I can't pick just one.

So this at this year's Indiana State Fair, and Moo-Moo decided that this goat could be in Lindsey's wedding this winter because "she's a flower girl, look at her outfit!!"

And Moo-Moo LOVED this rabbit because "look at her eye makeup!!"

Today was my GTT..it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be..The drink was really sweet, but it was cold, so that made a difference I think. But 10 minutes in, I was so shaky, and the baby was going ballistic. I think she was a fan. Then, about 10 minutes until I had to have the blood draw, I crashed. I fell asleep in the chair and I'm pretty sure baby girl crashed as well. The nurse told me that was normal and took my blood..She was really good!! No bruising, score!! They should have the results tomorrow afternoon. Here's hoping I don't fail. Oh, and then I ate my weight in MCL. So that was awesome. 

I had today off from work. That hasn't happened in over a year (a weekday off I mean) and it was nice. Got a lot done, had lunch w/my mom. We hammered out the final details of the shower. Talked about SIL & work drama and then did some shopping and now are home. Im exhausted. Stayed up way to late last night and had a major meltdown...So that was a good time. Now I'm gonna try to go watch some tv & sleep. We'll see how it goes.

Day 8 & Some Ventilation

Okay, for Day 8, I'm supposed to post a picture of something that makes me sad/angry..If I could add all of my pictures from Christmas 2009, I totally would. Because that's the time we found out we were pregnant and then announced it, and then lost the baby w/in 2 wks..That STILL haunts me. I know, let it go, but I just can't. So I'll just add this...

January 6, 2010. Naively thinking that 2010 just HAD to be better then 2009, I figured that my beta numbers were wrong and there was NO WAY I was miscarrying AGAIN, 5x in 13months. NO WAY. It just doesn't happen. I woke up this morning in beyond excruciating pain, I couldn't even cry out. I had no air in my lungs. E only came to me because he heard me trying to breathe. We immediately went to the ER, where they confirmed that yes, I was PG, but NO it was not viable. I was on m/c #5, AND had an ovarian cyst that had burst. Happy New Year to me. It was awful. Great meds, awful mental status. I had to stay at the hospital for hours, I just wanted to go home and be by myself. This picture shows how I started my new year, w/pain pills, antibiotics, and some new jewelery. I was beside myself in physical and mental pain for the next month. I didn't end up "passing" the baby until the 22nd of January. And my doctor at the time was an asshat. I just wanted a D&C , something to get things over with. It was an awful angry time in my life. I am glad we are past it now, but I remember it as vividly as if it were yesterday.

Okay, I've already vented most of this out to my mom (cause she completely understands) but I just have to say, and i know I talk about her WAY too much, but my SIL is such a thorn in my side. SERIOUSLY!! She knows our TTC/pregnancy situation, and yet still wants to talk about how easy it is to get pregnant & stay pregnant. How they are going to start "trying" on their wedding night, how she hopes for a honeymoon baby, how she doesn't understand how "anyone" struggles to get pregnant. I try to not take what she says personally, but today it was PERSONAL. Just let me have this!! It's been all about her for 1yr w/this wedding shit. Just let me have this. I just can't deal with it. She just has no idea, and has been rubbing it in my face for the last few weeks. GAH.

Okay, I feel better. I am starving, craving spaghetti and have no sauce, so mac & cheese it is. How was your weekend?

PS: Anyone dealt w/restless legs & numbing pain? I am having this really bad. If I sit in ANY position for more then 10minutes my extremities go numb, mainly on my right side. I know my hands it's carpal tunnel, but my leg & foot?! Also, my legs just HURT. Anyone know what I can do? 

Day 7 and Some Questions

Okay, so Day 7's challenge is a photo that makes me happy..Umm, so I have to narrow it down to just one? Are you serious? Anyone who has followed along w/me knows I love taking pictures..I'll just narrow it down to 3 for now =)

Because, obviously =)

Two of my favorites, from summer vacation this year in Gatlinburg. After I took this picture, I distinctly remember thinking "he is going to make SUCH a great daddy." Didn't even know I was pregnant yet =)

Good heaves, I do look huge. But anyway, this just captures the spirit of DH. Always joking, always funny, plus, it was outside during my most favorite season, Fall.


Okay, now for a few questions to my lovely previously or currently PG friends...

1. So if Im measuring this far ahead this early, is the baby going to come early? She's only measuring about a week ahead. My OB isn't concerned, but of course I am. She didn't look overly huge last weekend on the u/s, so I'm just curious. Also, if I keep measuring huge, do I have a higher chance of bedrest? Will he let me go to 40+wks?
2. Since I'm measuring big, but little froggy isn't, is it okay that I still haven't felt "big" movements? I have felt movement, and we've actually seen it from the outside, but i can't distinguish what is what. I assume that's okay. Again, OB not concerned, momma, is.
3. I'm hungry every 2-3hrs..Like HUNGRY. Case in point, I made a pork loin, mixed veggies, and mashed potatoes for lunch around 1pm. I am now so hungry I want a mexican dinner. DH was shocked that I could already be any kind of hungry. I was shocked that he was shocked. IDK. Is it just me? And when I eat, where ol gal is positioned, I always feel full fast, because she RIGHT on my lungs and if I eat too much I can't breathe, so maybe my stomach isn't full, but since my uterus is?..I don't know.
4. A little TMI, but after the big "O" is it normal to feel like a not and then a lot of fluttery weird sensations? Umm, she seems to enjoy the uterine contractions??
5. Anyone else have a dog (or other animal) that has become INSANELY co-dependant? It's like Allie CANNOT be away from me. She goes berserkers. I don't know what her deal is. Unless she is going to school, she gets all crazy. And it's when Im gone for small amounts of time. Like DH and I ran to the store last night because I was craving apples, grapes, and carrots, and we came back and she was just whining like we'd been gone for 3 days. Ugh. The dog needs some Xanax.

Okay, that is all for now=) Thanks in advance for your advice.

1. 
   

Oh I Love Lists

So today's topic for Day 6 is 20 of my favorite things..But before I do that, I need to vent just a little bit. I know, what else is new? So today DH & I went out for breakfast and I wanted to do some errands and some early Christmas shopping (since we ALWAYS wait til the last minute and I had 15% off at Kohl's) So we get to Kohl's and I'm picking a couple of things out, and E keeps talking about "bills" we need to pay. As though I haven't been paying bills, by myself, for the last 2 months, thank you very much. And he continually keeps mentioning bills with everything I pick up. Finally, exasperated, I tell him to go shop in a different department. That I know how much money we have and I've got this. He follows me. FINE. I go into the ornament area (because I'm looking for something nice, and pretty but not out of control expensive for baby girl's godparents) and he SIGHS and makes another comment. At this point, I am done. I throw down everything I'm carrying (including a few things for him and a pair of flannel jammy pants I *really* wanted) and storm out of the store.  I hear him calling me, but I just can't talk to him. I'm too peeved and I do not want to get in a screaming match in the parking lot of Kohls. We drive home, I go inside and watch tv, he comes in asks what I'm doing and I tell him "trying to stay away from you." Mean? Yes. Truthful, yes. He asks why and I start crying. I deal w/bills every.single.day. I know exactly, down to the penny how much money we have saved, and how much we have outstanding. I know exactly how much debt we have and how much we have to live on. More then once since he started the academy I have struggled to make ends meet. And every weekend he comes home and needs "one more thing" for the academy, and instead of getting the flannel jammy pants I want or going to the store to get more then just necessities, we get what he needs for the academy. So it infruriated me that be brought up bills. As if I have no idea that we have bills to pay. And he kept bringing up a certain one that is the least of my worries, and I told him "you think that is our biggest bill? you are living in la-la land." I was just hurt that he took me as irresponsible and one nice thing I wanted to do, he shot down because of "bills." I told him that he isn't living this day to day. He's at the academy where there aren't any bills, or money stresses because he is removed. I think he got it. I'm still kind of pissed. He's not the only one "going through this." Yes, he has to do all the physical stuff and be away from the family, but I'm dealing w/that and day to day shit. I don't ever let him know how much it all gets to me. I think today he got just a slice of that. Okay, now I feel a little bit better.

Now, onto Day 6, 20 of my favorite things, in no particular order.

1. This baby in my belly
2. My husband
3. Our doggie
4. Frogs
5. Purple
6. The beach (Gulf coast)
7. The mountains (Great Smokies)
8. Diet Sunkist Sparkling Lemonade
9. Baby leg warmers
10. Fleece socks
11. Autumn
12. Christmas
13. Moo-Moo
14. Candles
15. Lavendar & Chamomile bubble bath
16. The smell of a brand new book
17. Coach purses
18. Cold sheets, even in the winter
19. Vacation
20. My parents

Man, that was easy, and hard at the same time, to limit my favorite things to just 20. I probably could do about 80 more. I have a lot of favorites =)

Okay, the pizza is almost done and on-demand movies are waiting. Have a great weekend!!

1. 
   

A Little Rambling..and Day 5

So, I really, really believe in dreams. That most of the time, they mean "something" even if we don't know right away what it is. Such as, I dreamed 4x that "someone" was pregnant before we found out. I think I even talked about it on here. How I couldn't see who it was (most of the time, I can) and how I was hoping against hope it was me. I also dreamed about having a girl 4x, which we are, while the whole time before we found out, I thought FOR SURE we were having a boy. And sometimes, I've dreamt about bad stuff, that came true, or that played out *exactly* how it had in my dreams. It can be creepy. Anyway, I said all that to say this. 3 years or so ago I had a student in my preschool class who I loved, we'll call her M. Her mom worked for us, and her brother attended the school to.They were great, smart kids, from a hard family situation. Her mom had known my family for my whole life (that's how she got the job) but her husband was a felon, who had 2 other children, M & her brother, and one on the way. They lived in a tiny apartment on a not so good side of town. This little girl was fantastic.Well fast forward about 8 months, her mom & dad start treating myself and another preschool teacher not so great and it evolves into a HUGE fiasco. A screaming match one day at school w/us having to call the police and obviously, she got fired. I never saw M again. Today, I dreamt about her. Very vivid. Very obvious that it was her, and her mom, & her 2 sisters and her 2 brothers. She was incredibly sad. Told me she had no friends in school (she'd be about Moo's age) and that he life at home was really hard and that she hated it. I felt like in my dream, I *needed* to find her. I did find her mom, on FB, it wasn't tough. What is holding me back is her dad's situation. I do not want this man around my family or my baby. I would hope that her mom has enough sense to keep him away from M & her brothers as well. I'm just torn. I know it was "just a dream" but I just feel like she needs something, and at this point, I can't contact her family.

Okay..Anyway, on to Day 5, which is my favorite quote...Dude, I love quotes. Seriously. They are one of my favorite things. 2 of my absolutely most favoritest are "I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended on to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts." by Abraham Lincoln. You could live your whole life by things this president said. He was amazing, he is one of those people, that when asked "what 3 people would you like to meet, living or dead" that I wrote down. My other favorite quote does not have an author, or, the author has chosen to remain anonymous and it goes "I believe in the sun even if it isn't shining. I believe in love even when I am alone. I believe in God even when he is silent." That one has gotten me through quite a few hard times. To just remember, above all else, I'm never really alone, and I'm never forgotten, I'm always loved.

Okay, E is on his way home, I'm gonna attempt to get kind of pretty..Have a great weekend!! We are looking at flurries here in the great midwest and 70 degrees by Tuesday. What the hell..lol.

PS: It's 8:40pm on 11-05..and it's SNOWING!! Not sticking, but snowing, I love it. I hope we have snow for my birthday!!