I Wish I Could Hug My Husband

I've talked him the last 2 nights, which is really nice, but kind of sucks because usually he only gets 2 nights a week to call, so I like it when one is like early and one is later in the week. Oh well. He says he should get an hour a week, so we'll see how that goes. Now here's why I want to give him a hug. He hasn't seemed as "up" as he usually does, and I can always tell when something is wrong. Tonight was one of those nights. They have been doing firearms from 8-5 and will continue doing so til Friday. So he is in pain and is exhausted. They are getting him up @ 5am and not letting them go to bed til 10pm. That's a long f-ing day. With some PT thrown in, I know saying he is in "pain" doesn't even cover it. He also is the assistant squad leader this week, which sounds like it should be awesome, it is the exact opposite. Each night, the recruits are supposed to turn in some kind of cards, I think it's demerit/merit cards? I'm not sure. In his squad, over half of them aren't doing it, in turn, my husband gets punishment..Extra push-ups, sit-ups, running, arm hangs, etc. Because the SQUAD isn't doing what they are supposed to be doing. W.T.F?! He just sounded run down tonight. Like he did during the 2nd week. Ugh. And then he went to turn his cards in & they said they didn't want to see him because he didn't KNOCK hard enough on the door. Are you fucking kidding me? I told him to kick the fucking door down next time, and see if thats hard enough. I'm telling you, at "graduation" I'm gonna hit these people in the face w/their hats. That is just ridiculous. I just want to hug him, and get in people's faces. So it's a good thing that I'm not the one at the academy. I'd would've been fired in week 1. Ugh. I'm really ready for all of this to be over and to have my husband home. Gah.

Also, 2 sidenotes. My dog is having trouble jumping up on the bed and in & out of the car (I have a Honda CRV) and it seems that her back legs are giving her trouble, but only doing those 2 things, otherwise, she's fine. Any ideas? She's a Boxer, if that helps. And my doctor gave me Tylenol 3 for my migraines, he wouldn't give me something that would hurt the baby, correct? I just love feeling her move, and I feel like she "slows down" when I take it. I've needed it all day, and have just been nervous. I know it probably won't hurt her, and not taking it is just stressing me out, which is no good either. Ugh.

Seriously?!

Here's how tonight's gone..

• Oveflowed my pasta, and trying to clean it up set a towel on fire.
• Moved the pot to another burner, turned the wrong one on and started burning the pan my brownies were in
• Off goes the smoke detector
• Burned the side of my hand trying to move the pan
• Dropped flour all over my kitchen floor
• Migraine
• Congestion
• And, hey, we're still poor, awesome
• I'm done w/tonight, I'm going to bed. Seriously.

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like..

Chaos? Debt? Stress? Christmas?

I know this should be a super joyous time, and it is, I promise. But when I look at all the medical bills we have right now, coupled w/our "regular" bills..Ugh. There is so much I want to do, and we should be able to do more since E's salary has almost doubled..But the BILLS. Ugh. Always ruining things. I try to be in a good mood when E is home, especially this week, but just looking at how much is coming out & how much is going in. Just scares me. IDK if my boss is going to come through on the money he owes me. The person above me (our office manager, K) talked to him about it last week and low-balled the amount we need. WHY!? I literally need him to give me $600 or more (and he owes me $2000, so I'm not asking for much). She told him we only needed $400 (which isn't even HALF of the bill). Why would she do that? I'm not saying he's gonna give me any, but we don't have any extra $600 just sitting around the house. IDK what happens in small claims court, but I might just find out on December 15th. Hopefully they will be able to work w/me and set up a payment plan. Thinking of that, I need to write out my debt to income ratio. Oh joy.

Ugh. On to the happier part of my post. We put up & decorated our tree last night. E was in a grinch-y mood so that was fun. I had to tell him to tone his bad attitude down, and he eventually did, after we took a break and went to DQ (where Moo had her FIRST blizzard!!) and went to Reynolds Park to see their light display. The tree looks really good, although I only have about 1/2 of our ornaments on it. And we've got some Christmas decorations out. I plan to do the rest this week. Want to see? Of course you do =)

Okay, so here is Moo, E, & Allie, getting ready to start sorting the piles of what Moo calles "pom pom" which are the tree limbs. Allie is already worn out. I *adore* this picture =)

Allie is jealous of Moo, she had to be held her ownself while Moo was out of the room. Silly dog.

Here they are getting the piles together, while Moo is being curious and needs to help AT ALL TIMES. Notice that Allie must also be near E AT ALL TIMES. =)

It's getting there. I love how Moo is camouflaged in the tree. Can you see her?

 Here is E "fluffing" the tree..Moo is nowhere to be seen and neither is Allie, they were both in time out..lol.

And here is the finished project. I think it could use more lights, but E says no, that I must control myself. If I could put so many lights on the tree that it just looked like a light up thing and not a tree, I totally would.

E & the dog are SO TIRED from all this work. Good heavens, all 20 minutes of it..=)

 The following are from Reynolds Park Light Display..The Abominable Snowman..

Old McReynolds Barn & Animals

 Noah's Ark, to which Moo stated "I didn't know there were Kangaroo's on the ark!! That's not in the Bible!!"

Just a menagerie of lights..So pretty!!








Okay, now I'm off to cook lunch, hopefully catch a nap before we have to head to Thanksgiving dinner w/E's dad, his wife, and her "lovely" children. Gah. At least it's at Golden Corral this year instead of Ryan's where everyone gets food posioning. Hope your Sunday is great!!

Third Trimester

OMG, can you believe it!? I cannot!! This is the last countdown until baby girl gets here..I never imagined we would ever be in this place..When I got my updater email thing, I couldn't believe it said "In the 3rd Trimester..." and it was for me..I am so excited!!

Today started for me at 2:15am..Yep, I was one of those crazies out at the stores by 3am. I couldn't pass up all the good deals at Kohls, seriously!! And it was a madhouse!! We had to wait outside for 30 minutes (and it has gone from 50 & sunny to 22 & icy) so that was fun, and then people were just rushing to get in the door. It was chaos..and I loved it. I got Moo basically finished and everyone else, a good head start. I'm one of those people that waits until, oh, December 20th to start my shopping, so this was good for me. Oh, and E got me the hand mixer I've been wanting. I told him to wrap it up and give it to me, cause w/PG brain, I'll forget by Christmas =)

And for your viewing pleasure, some pictures from Thanksgiving..

This is me making my grandma's recipe for dumplings for the first time..They were SO good and I made so many we'll get to have some for Christmas =)

 This is Miss Allison yesterday morning and she was cold, so she "burrito'd" herself in the blankets. Too cute too not take a picture =)

This is how to cook Italian Thanksgiving Stuffing. Included..pancetta, celery, onions, garlic, mushrooms, and sage sausage..SO good!!

This is us..The 2.5 of us..Damn that light between our heads. Oh and my double chin. Brrnt.

Does anyone else see something wrong w/this picture? *Note the dog at the top of the bed*

 This is the family minus me..Dad, Big E, & Mom












I hope you all had a fantastically phenomenal Thanksgiving..Now, too put up the tree, watch Christmas Vacation, and head to Reynolds Park to see the light display (pictures to follow, of course).

Thanksgiving in my Heart

I am also gonna do the post about things I am thankful for..It may be cliched, but it's completely true =)

1. DH, my rock, my funny guy, the best husband in the world, with the biggest heart and the hugest drive to live out his dreams. He is going to be a great daddy and I am so lucky to get to spend the rest of my life w/him. 
2. My pregnancy and the baby it will bring. I can't believe I'll be 27wks tomorrow, that just seems UNREAL to me. I never thought we'd be here and it certainly didn't happen on our time. God knew exactly when to send baby girl to us, and even though it's been hard w/DH gone, it's His perfect timing. I am thankful every.single.day. I can't wait to meet her.
3. Our families. My mom has been so supportive while E has been gone. She comes over during the week, helps me with housework and keeps me company. We hang out w/them on Sundays, and we all just get along so well. We are lucky that my parents and his mom live so close. They'll be able to have a close relationship w/their granddaughter and with us. It's pretty great.
4. The roof over our heads. I love our apartment, and I love where we live. I feel safe, and I love all of our space. It's worth the eleventy thousand dollars it costs each month =)
5. The internet and this blog community. I have made some dear friends through my blog, and I'm lucky to know them. Plus, the support has meant to the world too me. Through all of our losses, and through this pregnancy and through the ups & downs of general life. I am greatful. And the internet, hello. I don't remember a time without Facebook, email, online news, etc. I'm a big fan.
6. My new car. We had freezing rain yesterday, and I'm telling you, my old car would not have made it, I would have felt really unsafe. My new car was awesome. And it's the small things, like having 2 working turn signals, a rear and front defroster, and HEAT that make my day. I took all that for granted until I didn't have them. I am lucky that we were able to get the car.
7. Moo-Moo, my favorite little girl. I can't wait to see her interact w/the baby. She is so awesome, and teaches us to love every single moment out of life. 
8. Great medical care and the ability to choose our doctor. Dr. J was so awesome and integral in helping us get pregnant, Dr. F is the best OB ever and I love him. I wouldn't want anyone else to take care of me and our little girl.

I'm sure there are a lot of other little things I'm thankful for, like the food we are going to eat today, but I must go get ready and finish my cooking. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!

ICLW Intro & Update

Hi!! And welcome if you are visiting from ICLW. I'm sorry about yesterday's post, but jeez, I was just feeling overwhelmed. Today was better. Work was okay, I think my boss is bi-polar, but whatever. Just get me to Wednesday @ 4pm. Then I'm off for 4 days and E is home. Yay!!

*Introduction*

Okay, I've done this before, but I like it & it makes me think =)

ABC's of Me

A: Is for Ann, my middle name
B: Is for baby & boxer..one of which we have now, named Allie, and one of which we will have in late February 2011
C: Is for candles, which I *love* and am on a "moratoriam" from buying from both my husband and my mom, ugh (but did I sneak in some Christmas ones? oh yes I did)
D: Is for doctor, and I work for 2 of them
E: Is the first initial of both my husband and our little girl =)
F: Is for Fall, my MOST favorite season (we got engaged in September, married in October, and my bday is in November)
G: Is for *girl* the gender of our baby!!
H: Is for hash browns, one of my favorite breakfast foods
I: Is for ice, something I am not looking forward to this winter
J: Is the first initial of our last name =)
K: Is for kicking, which I finally started feeling on a regular basis
L: Is for lazy, how I feel most of the time, I attempt to do things, but I'm just exhausted when I get home from work
M: Is for Medical Assistant, which is my job title, and Moo-Moo, the little girl we are helping raise, whom we love like she is our own
N: Is for nursing school, I was accepted last summer, but decided that having a baby and going to school and working full time was too much, I plan to go back in about a year
O: Is for orange pop, something I've been craving my whole pregnancy, DIET of course =)
P: Is for purple, my favorite color, any shade, any time and for police, which is my husband's job title

Q: Is for queen, cause I like to pretend that I am, even though we all know it's Allie =)
R: Is for rad, one of my favorite words
S: Is for sports, especially COLTS football, love, love love!!
T: Is for Tennessee, mainly the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area, one of our MOST favorite places to visit, we cannot wait to take baby girl there
U: Is for ultra sound, of which I will take as many as Dr. F wants to give me..I just love seeing her!!
V: Is for vision, which mine has changed, and I need new glasses, ugh
W: Is for WWE, one of my favorite shows, I know, it's fake, but I LOVE it!!
X: Is for x-ray vision, which I think would be cool to have....sometimes (and you know what I mean, other times it would be YUCK!!)
Y: Is for yellow, one of my LEAST favorite colors
Z: Is for zzzzz's which I don't get nearly enough of


Okay, so thats me, in alphabetical order. Had my doctor's appointment today, the baby is fat & sassy, and gorgeous. And I got a new due date!! February 25, 2011. She's measuring 26wk3d, I'm so excited. I don't want her to come before she's ready, but I can't wait to meet her. 3 weeks ago Dr. F and I were talking about how long he'd let me go, today, he said "I don't know that you'll make it to March 2nd." Word. Oh and she is stubborn. Not even *attempting* to turn head down. Her head is all up in my ribs and her feet are below my navel, so she is long. And probably has no need in her mind to turn. We'll talk c-sections at my next appointment. Oh, and I graduated to every 2 weeks appointments!! That is a huge deal for a RPL girl. I cried. I know. But I never though we'd get to the point where I have to be seen every 2 weeks. Just awesome. And next week, we get into the the 3rd (and FINAL) trimester!! Can you believe that? I'm just really excited!! Obviously by my over-use of the exclamation points. Oh, and I think it's the year of the girl. 3 of my 4 cousins are having babies, all girls, my good friend Melissa=girl, and our pastors wife=girl. Yay!!

Seriously...

*Preface*
Welcome, if you are newly here from ICLW. I'm going to tell you that usually I have pretty okay blog entries that are also random. But tonight, I am just overloaded. Please excuse me. I am also doing a 30 day blog challenge that I am 3 days behind on. I *promise* I will catch up and do an awesome intro tomorrow, tonight, I'm just beat. Please feel free to read of if you want, but I understand if this entry isn't your bag of chips.

I am beyond stressed. There is some serious work stuff going on, one of my medical bills needs to be paid by 12-15 (and it's $1000), and I'm just finding it really hard to deal. I do NOT want it to affect the baby, but I don't know how it can't when I'm not sleeping or eating right because I'm so stressed. I see Dr. F tomorrow to "discuss" my work situation. It's been ongoing for some time, causing migraines and meltdowns and I'm concerned he's gonna want to do bedrest, which I will get serious shit for at work. It's like, they don't care that I'm pregnant. Which, I know, doesn't matter to everyone, but when work stress starts affecting my pregnancy, and the only thing I want is to have this baby, ON TIME, not early, then something has GOT to change. I'm just worried. Oh, and my boss owes me over $2000 in "bonus" money, which he is refusing to pay me, that I have never asked for, except now, and I don't want all of it, just the money to pay my medical bill w/o having to go to court. Just fuck. Seriously. I'm just so done. Ugh.

So I'm also like 3 days behind on the Blog Challenge...And at this point, I'm just gonna go to bed. I swear I will catch it up tomorrow. I'm just overloaded.

And Now I Am 28

I'm telling you, for some reason, I've been dreading "28". I'm not sure why. Maybe because of all the hard stuff we've had to go through over the last few years. Maybe because it feels like "30" is looming so close. I don't know. But what I do know, is that 28, will bring me my daughter, and for that, I am no longer afraid. I am ecstatic. If you had told me 1 year ago, that I would be 6 months pregnant w/our little girl, I wouldn't have believed it possible. If you had added in that my husband would FINALLY be in the police academy, a dream he has been attempting for the last 4 years, I would have fainted dead away. To be successfully pregnant and have DH in the academy, seemed like just that, a dream. And now, we're here. It is the most amazing 6 months, and I am greatful for every single second. I can't wait to meet our girl, I can't wait for my husband to be the sworn officer he has always wanted to be, I'm just so excited. Thank you for sharing with me over the last year, and helping me get to this place.

Now, as you can tell, I'm doing about 2 days at a time for my blog challenge. For Day 17, I am supposed to post a picture of a piece of artwork and the artist who made it. My picture is "Jimson Weed" by Georgia O'Keefe. The first time I saw it in the Indianapolis Museum of Art, I cried. Seriously. She is an AMAZING artist and I have loved it from the first time I saw it (when I was 10). I would love to own even a copy of it some day. Here it is. Gorgeous!

Blog challenge Day 18 is a picture of my wedding, which I think is fitting, since DH has helped me get through all of the crap the last year has thrown at us. Let me try to find one that I think is really rad.

Okay, I chose this picture because I feel like your eye is drawn to just us. Not to be narcissistic or anything, but that's how this dance was. It was just us. Surrounded by people we love, but it was just the 2 of us. Nothing could stop us or slow us down. We were completely, unabashedly in love. And we still are. It's stronger now, more so every day. IDK if it's because of our daughter, or because we were seperated, or because we now see each other 2.5 days a week, but my mom told me last weekend that it was almost like she could love going between us. Like a cord that connected the two of us to each other. She said it felt like she was looking at herself and my dad. Like we are unbreakable. It was an awesome description. I hope our baby sees that. How much we love each other, and how much we are completely in love with her.

Day 16 and More

So for blog challenge Day 16, I'm supposed to list a song that always makes me cry. Besides, like EVERY song these days? One that gets me, even when I'm not PG, if "I Loved Her First" by Heartland. When we were picking "dance" songs for our weddings, I just randomly googled "Father/Daughter" dance and this one came up. I immedietly knew it was the song for us. I just love. It's such a good description of our relationship, and how I think my dad felt on my wedding day. He never really showed that much emotion, but during our dance, he teared up..and then made me laugh. And now that we are having a daughter, I hope she chooses it for her first dance too. I know the words describe how E will feel. Over the weekend, he said "We're having a daughter." I was like "yes, very good honey." And he said "we're gonna have to throw her a wedding some day, can you believe that?" I just smiled and laughed. He was so cute about it. I just can't wait to meet her!!

 I am SO frustrated. I ordered pizza from papa.johns over and HOUR ago, when they said it would be 35 minutes, now I'm on hold for the last SEVEN minutes. Wtf? Can someone explain what is going on? I am totally not paying for this order. It's not like there's a blizzard outside. It's raining. Plus, the PJ near us, is literally like 2 miles away. It's not a drive. Ugh. Im SO hungry.

Some PG questions..Does anyone have any relief for restless legs? They tingle and hurt and just feel like I have to keep moving if I sit for more then 10 minutes at a time. It's usually not as bad at work (or maybe I just don't notice it as much) but at home, oh my goodness. It's awful. And I don't know how to make it go away. I know potassium helps leg cramps, but does it also help this? I'm not a big fan of bananas and you know I'm not eating much protein (meat wise anyway) sooooo..any suggestions?


And the tingling in my arms/hands..I think it has to do w/carpal tunnel during pregnancy? Do I just need to take more breaks or is there something I can do? Like exercises or something? IDK. I just know it's annoying, but for her, it's okay. I just don't like the pins & needles feelings.

Must .Angry.Blog

I *hate* Mondays, especially THIS particular Monday..In no particular fucked up order..

• We had nerve tests scheduled for this morning. I busted my ASS to get them scheduled, and even got hollered at last week that I wasn't doing "enough" last week (suck my big toe) and when I got to work, no one was there, not the tech, not the doctor etc. FINALLY dumbfuck Dr. walks in and announces they've been cancelled telling 100% NO ONE. Fuck.
• Morning sickness plus gastrointestinal difficulties=AWESOME (it was a nice few weeks off the MS)
• 2 bill collectors called. One wanted over $600 right.this.minute. BAHAHAAHAH!!!! Got a payment plan set up. It's for old medical bills that I've ignored because, well, I don't have the money, obviously. The other one called, caused I missed my "payment plan" date. I really did loose the information, and not even on purpose. I didn't mean to miss that one, since it'll be taken care of in a few payments. So those will both come out Friday. Plus all of our bills are due next week, and we are gonna be POOR. As usual. I hate medical bills. I really feel like my insurance should've picked more of this up or there should be a "multiple dead babies/lost PG insurance" that covers this shit. 
• Allie injured herself getting in the car this morning. I thought she was okay. Nope. Her doggie daycare called and told me to come get her, she was that bad off. ER trip to the vet, for only $48 (thank God) and she has strained (or sprained?) her ACL. Resulting in me having to take the rest of the day off work to make sure she doesn't injure it further. Right. So on the week I need EXTRA hours, I loose 8. Dammit. 
• My birthday is Thursday. All I wanted was a Gameboy DS. Now, I want to win the lottery. Or one of those lucky $1000 scratch offs. Whichever.

The following DO NOT suck and are therefore keeping me OFF the ledge today.

• Baby girl has a NAME!! I don't want to reveal it here yet (yep, that superstitious) but her initials will be ELJ. I was seriously at the point that I hated every.single.name ever made. And I actually prayed about it and talked to baby girl about it and yesterday, I had a dream where she was CLEARLY named. And it wasn't on any of our lists, not even close. And the case was closed. This WILL be her name. Can't wait to share it in a few months. It's just different enough, but not off the charts "weird."
• She is moving like crazy. She actually kicked back last night and I felt it from the outside and the inside. I screamed, it was amazing. E was concered, lol, but he got to feel it too. Amaze-Balls. Yes I did just use that term to describe something our baby did. Ahh, I'm a good mom already.
• Tonight is WWE-Raw, and it's throwback night. All the old stars and old clips will be on. Can't wait!!
• This weekend HP-6 (the first half comes out) and that is what DH and I are doing for my b-day (I think also dinner). And oh yes I did just bitch about money and are planning something for my b-day. Sorry, it's my bday. I'll go to the poor house for my bday. Whatever.
• Day 13 of the blog challenge is: A Fictional Book..Okay, my favorite fictional book is "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.

• Day 14: A Non-Fiction Book..I don't read many non-fiction books (it used to drive my parents crazy, esp. my librarian mom) so I'll list another of my favorite fiction books (by another favorite author, Edgar Allen Poe).

• And today: Day 15: A picture of my dream house..Now my dream house is different because I do NOT want 2 floors. I was a LARGE ranch w/vaulted ceilings, although, I do love myself a loft. Let me see if I can find a pic..I want 3-4 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, big kitchen, big family, room, HUGE master BR w/afireplace etc. You know, the usual, out my reach thing..Something like this...

•  Looks smallish, but isn't, it goes deep, etc.Just something similar to this please =)

Now, Im off to cook some spaghetti, thanks for letting me vent.

Sick Bay

Ugh. Illness. Gross. Moo-Moo came over this weekend..She missed a day of school last week due to illness (of the puke variety) and she was fine when we got her. She's been up & down in terms of energy but hasn't acted "sick" until today. We were having lunch @ Olive Garden and she went down hill fast. She got really feverish, and laid her head down on the table and went to sleep. Her temp is a little bit high and she says her belly hurts. She's laying in bed watching Christmas Vacation and snoozing on & off. Yesterday, at the shower, my mom was horrifically sick. Lets say she was the exact opposite of constipated. It was bad. I thought we were gonna have to take her to urgent care. She rallied and made it to most of the shower. But went home and was sick all night and most of this morning. And then me. Who is also the opposite of constipated all of today and super nauseated. I haven't had to bust out the Zofran since 17wks. But we're there. I feel just gross. I don't want to do anything, I want to sleep, ugh. And we need to go to the store, BIG TIME, and do some laundry and I'm just like, nope. So for now, I'm gonna go lay down, hopefully feel a little bit better cause we need SUSTANCE in this house. And if I feel better later, I'll update my blog challenge. Yeah, doing great on that.

Uh Oh *Updated*

So I have extreme swelling of the legs/feet/ankles..and a persistent headache w/some visual disturbances..Ugh. I don't want to do this. I hope it's just because I was on my feet for so long today. Waiting for Dr. F. to call back and tell us what to do.FUCK.


*Dr. F. called me back. Said he isn't "overly" concerned..Sounds like I was just on my feet way too much today. I'm supposed to lay on my left side and drink plenty of water..Which I have been. Take Tylenol, etc. If I'm still swollen tomorrow, then bedrest til Monday morning, when he wants to see me. If not I have go to church, etc, but still have to be majority off my feet. We'll see how it goes, but I'm glad it's nothing "major." 

Great Big Ol Good News

Dr. F's office called yesteday, I passed my GTT w/flying colors..The acceptable range is 92-140 (which I feel like is a really big range) but anyway, my sugar was 102!! Yay, no more yucky drink for me. My iron was low, and he was concerned, so I'm on iron supplements and we'll recheck in a few weeks. Seems the blood thinners are doing their job, maybe too well. And, the bestest news....I've only gained 9 (!!!) pounds! OMG. How is this possible? I've been on a steady diet of Diet Sunkist Lemonade and chocolate muffins. Jeez. That is pretty rad. And Dr. F said obviously, my weight gain is baby, boobs, and uterus, since I've only gained that much weight and I'm still hooooooge. She's just gonna be a big girl. Yay =)

Also, let me give a MASSIVE shout-out to my dearest Melissa. She sent me the most cutest baby gift set ever!! It is a pink hat, booties, burp cloth, blanket, and bib all w/frogs and flowers..It is amazing and cute, and I am so lucky to have her as a friend..Even though we've never met in real life. We need to adjust that and soon. Wisconsin isn't so far..right? =)

Okay, since I'm 2 days behind on my blog challenge I need to double up..For day 12, I'm supposed to post a recent picture of me, so here goes.

This from our maternity session w/my mom about 3wks ago. It's the most recent picture I have. I love this picture. We are doing a series for our maternity (like fall, winter, spring, her birth) etc.

For day 12, I'm supposed to post something I'm OCD about. It doesn't say a picture, so I'll just tell you. I could a list as long as a football field about stuff that peeves me, but I guess that isn't exactly OCD. Hmm..I'm OCD about having everything w/in reach and in it's place when I go to bed. Such as, I need to have my nasal spray, my inhaler, and my phone by.the.bed. And I have to know where the remote is and I can't go to sleep w/o any of these things. Also, since E's now gone during the week, I check the front door lock, all the windows, and in the closet. I KNOW. But I must do this, just to make sure. Oh, and I sleep w/my purse and keys next to the bed as well, you know, in case of a quick exit =) 

In the process of getting ready for this blessed bridal shower tomorrow, I wanted to get my nails done. Unfortunately I ran out of time. So I did some glue-on nails (and they look like I paid big bucks for them) and managed to glue together 4 fingers. 2 on each hand. It was big fun tearing my skin apart. Also, I'm craving Burger King & Steak & Shake and DH said he'd go get me whatever I want (such a good husband) but I feel bad so I'm stuffing my face w/a chocolate muffin. Take that good sugar levels!!

Short, Sweet, Bullets

• Today was a great day at work, until my jackbag boss got caught in quite a few lies, and if you followed along, he CANNOT deal w/being caught lying and he NEVER admits fault. He went ballistic. I was so stressed that I had cramping. I DO NOT have time for this and I plan on telling him this tomorrow. It's bullshit.
• I miss E. Lots. I'm ready for him to come home. He sounds so good on the phone =)
• The First Wives Club is a great movie!!
• Sometimes you just have to say YES to ham & cheddar sandwhiches (2) and a large cheddar fry from Arbys. 
• Twice in a row I have tried to take a HOT bath, and the stupid f-ing water has run out before it even got half way up the tub. W.T.F!?
• 2 of my coworkers felt the baby move today. It was so funny to see their faces.
• This nighttime hunger is KILLING me. Im currently cooking some homemade soup. Ugh.
• Allie alerts for NO REASON. My mom thinks I flip out for no reason. Oh hell no. The dog helps w/this very much. She alerts because there's a spider on the floor, or the wind blows, or our upstairs neighbors make noise. Dumb. Oh, and my mom said to call security, bahahaha...the only security is the 9mm in the side drawer. Holla. 
• Day 10: A picture from 10yrs ago...well I found one from 9 years ago..Will that do? My mom has all of the old pics of me (before digital times) and I just happened to have one from my grandma's 80th bday last April, she had photo collages..So here goes nothing..I was 20 yrs old. Oh my goodness!!

• Yep, I used to be a blonde. Like white blonde. I was such a hottie and didn't even know it. I wish I could have told myself then "have some f-ing self esteem, you are GORGEOUS!!!! Enjoy life, stop worrying so much." Ugh. But yeah, look how young I am, an no double chin, dammit , I look good. Lol!!
• I'm 6mos pregnant today..We have reached VIABILITY!! Can you believe it?! And just to prove she's alive and kicking..she's been doing just that. I'm starting to think that we might actually be bringing home a baby this spring..6 months!! I have more months behind me in this pregnancy then ahead of me. I am ecstatic!!
• Soups done..Must feed the babeh!!!

Day 9 & Other Ramblings

So today I'm supposed to post a picture I took..So there's over 1500 on my computer..that I took. I mainly take all of the pictures you see on this blog (minus our wedding ones, oh and the u/s ones). Let me see if I can narrow it down.

I'm going to add 2 completely random pics cause you know I can't pick just one.

So this at this year's Indiana State Fair, and Moo-Moo decided that this goat could be in Lindsey's wedding this winter because "she's a flower girl, look at her outfit!!"

And Moo-Moo LOVED this rabbit because "look at her eye makeup!!"

Today was my GTT..it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be..The drink was really sweet, but it was cold, so that made a difference I think. But 10 minutes in, I was so shaky, and the baby was going ballistic. I think she was a fan. Then, about 10 minutes until I had to have the blood draw, I crashed. I fell asleep in the chair and I'm pretty sure baby girl crashed as well. The nurse told me that was normal and took my blood..She was really good!! No bruising, score!! They should have the results tomorrow afternoon. Here's hoping I don't fail. Oh, and then I ate my weight in MCL. So that was awesome. 

I had today off from work. That hasn't happened in over a year (a weekday off I mean) and it was nice. Got a lot done, had lunch w/my mom. We hammered out the final details of the shower. Talked about SIL & work drama and then did some shopping and now are home. Im exhausted. Stayed up way to late last night and had a major meltdown...So that was a good time. Now I'm gonna try to go watch some tv & sleep. We'll see how it goes.

Day 8 & Some Ventilation

Okay, for Day 8, I'm supposed to post a picture of something that makes me sad/angry..If I could add all of my pictures from Christmas 2009, I totally would. Because that's the time we found out we were pregnant and then announced it, and then lost the baby w/in 2 wks..That STILL haunts me. I know, let it go, but I just can't. So I'll just add this...

January 6, 2010. Naively thinking that 2010 just HAD to be better then 2009, I figured that my beta numbers were wrong and there was NO WAY I was miscarrying AGAIN, 5x in 13months. NO WAY. It just doesn't happen. I woke up this morning in beyond excruciating pain, I couldn't even cry out. I had no air in my lungs. E only came to me because he heard me trying to breathe. We immediately went to the ER, where they confirmed that yes, I was PG, but NO it was not viable. I was on m/c #5, AND had an ovarian cyst that had burst. Happy New Year to me. It was awful. Great meds, awful mental status. I had to stay at the hospital for hours, I just wanted to go home and be by myself. This picture shows how I started my new year, w/pain pills, antibiotics, and some new jewelery. I was beside myself in physical and mental pain for the next month. I didn't end up "passing" the baby until the 22nd of January. And my doctor at the time was an asshat. I just wanted a D&C , something to get things over with. It was an awful angry time in my life. I am glad we are past it now, but I remember it as vividly as if it were yesterday.

Okay, I've already vented most of this out to my mom (cause she completely understands) but I just have to say, and i know I talk about her WAY too much, but my SIL is such a thorn in my side. SERIOUSLY!! She knows our TTC/pregnancy situation, and yet still wants to talk about how easy it is to get pregnant & stay pregnant. How they are going to start "trying" on their wedding night, how she hopes for a honeymoon baby, how she doesn't understand how "anyone" struggles to get pregnant. I try to not take what she says personally, but today it was PERSONAL. Just let me have this!! It's been all about her for 1yr w/this wedding shit. Just let me have this. I just can't deal with it. She just has no idea, and has been rubbing it in my face for the last few weeks. GAH.

Okay, I feel better. I am starving, craving spaghetti and have no sauce, so mac & cheese it is. How was your weekend?

PS: Anyone dealt w/restless legs & numbing pain? I am having this really bad. If I sit in ANY position for more then 10minutes my extremities go numb, mainly on my right side. I know my hands it's carpal tunnel, but my leg & foot?! Also, my legs just HURT. Anyone know what I can do? 

Day 7 and Some Questions

Okay, so Day 7's challenge is a photo that makes me happy..Umm, so I have to narrow it down to just one? Are you serious? Anyone who has followed along w/me knows I love taking pictures..I'll just narrow it down to 3 for now =)

Because, obviously =)

Two of my favorites, from summer vacation this year in Gatlinburg. After I took this picture, I distinctly remember thinking "he is going to make SUCH a great daddy." Didn't even know I was pregnant yet =)

Good heaves, I do look huge. But anyway, this just captures the spirit of DH. Always joking, always funny, plus, it was outside during my most favorite season, Fall.


Okay, now for a few questions to my lovely previously or currently PG friends...

1. So if Im measuring this far ahead this early, is the baby going to come early? She's only measuring about a week ahead. My OB isn't concerned, but of course I am. She didn't look overly huge last weekend on the u/s, so I'm just curious. Also, if I keep measuring huge, do I have a higher chance of bedrest? Will he let me go to 40+wks?
2. Since I'm measuring big, but little froggy isn't, is it okay that I still haven't felt "big" movements? I have felt movement, and we've actually seen it from the outside, but i can't distinguish what is what. I assume that's okay. Again, OB not concerned, momma, is.
3. I'm hungry every 2-3hrs..Like HUNGRY. Case in point, I made a pork loin, mixed veggies, and mashed potatoes for lunch around 1pm. I am now so hungry I want a mexican dinner. DH was shocked that I could already be any kind of hungry. I was shocked that he was shocked. IDK. Is it just me? And when I eat, where ol gal is positioned, I always feel full fast, because she RIGHT on my lungs and if I eat too much I can't breathe, so maybe my stomach isn't full, but since my uterus is?..I don't know.
4. A little TMI, but after the big "O" is it normal to feel like a not and then a lot of fluttery weird sensations? Umm, she seems to enjoy the uterine contractions??
5. Anyone else have a dog (or other animal) that has become INSANELY co-dependant? It's like Allie CANNOT be away from me. She goes berserkers. I don't know what her deal is. Unless she is going to school, she gets all crazy. And it's when Im gone for small amounts of time. Like DH and I ran to the store last night because I was craving apples, grapes, and carrots, and we came back and she was just whining like we'd been gone for 3 days. Ugh. The dog needs some Xanax.

Okay, that is all for now=) Thanks in advance for your advice.

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Oh I Love Lists

So today's topic for Day 6 is 20 of my favorite things..But before I do that, I need to vent just a little bit. I know, what else is new? So today DH & I went out for breakfast and I wanted to do some errands and some early Christmas shopping (since we ALWAYS wait til the last minute and I had 15% off at Kohl's) So we get to Kohl's and I'm picking a couple of things out, and E keeps talking about "bills" we need to pay. As though I haven't been paying bills, by myself, for the last 2 months, thank you very much. And he continually keeps mentioning bills with everything I pick up. Finally, exasperated, I tell him to go shop in a different department. That I know how much money we have and I've got this. He follows me. FINE. I go into the ornament area (because I'm looking for something nice, and pretty but not out of control expensive for baby girl's godparents) and he SIGHS and makes another comment. At this point, I am done. I throw down everything I'm carrying (including a few things for him and a pair of flannel jammy pants I *really* wanted) and storm out of the store.  I hear him calling me, but I just can't talk to him. I'm too peeved and I do not want to get in a screaming match in the parking lot of Kohls. We drive home, I go inside and watch tv, he comes in asks what I'm doing and I tell him "trying to stay away from you." Mean? Yes. Truthful, yes. He asks why and I start crying. I deal w/bills every.single.day. I know exactly, down to the penny how much money we have saved, and how much we have outstanding. I know exactly how much debt we have and how much we have to live on. More then once since he started the academy I have struggled to make ends meet. And every weekend he comes home and needs "one more thing" for the academy, and instead of getting the flannel jammy pants I want or going to the store to get more then just necessities, we get what he needs for the academy. So it infruriated me that be brought up bills. As if I have no idea that we have bills to pay. And he kept bringing up a certain one that is the least of my worries, and I told him "you think that is our biggest bill? you are living in la-la land." I was just hurt that he took me as irresponsible and one nice thing I wanted to do, he shot down because of "bills." I told him that he isn't living this day to day. He's at the academy where there aren't any bills, or money stresses because he is removed. I think he got it. I'm still kind of pissed. He's not the only one "going through this." Yes, he has to do all the physical stuff and be away from the family, but I'm dealing w/that and day to day shit. I don't ever let him know how much it all gets to me. I think today he got just a slice of that. Okay, now I feel a little bit better.

Now, onto Day 6, 20 of my favorite things, in no particular order.

1. This baby in my belly
2. My husband
3. Our doggie
4. Frogs
5. Purple
6. The beach (Gulf coast)
7. The mountains (Great Smokies)
8. Diet Sunkist Sparkling Lemonade
9. Baby leg warmers
10. Fleece socks
11. Autumn
12. Christmas
13. Moo-Moo
14. Candles
15. Lavendar & Chamomile bubble bath
16. The smell of a brand new book
17. Coach purses
18. Cold sheets, even in the winter
19. Vacation
20. My parents

Man, that was easy, and hard at the same time, to limit my favorite things to just 20. I probably could do about 80 more. I have a lot of favorites =)

Okay, the pizza is almost done and on-demand movies are waiting. Have a great weekend!!

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A Little Rambling..and Day 5

So, I really, really believe in dreams. That most of the time, they mean "something" even if we don't know right away what it is. Such as, I dreamed 4x that "someone" was pregnant before we found out. I think I even talked about it on here. How I couldn't see who it was (most of the time, I can) and how I was hoping against hope it was me. I also dreamed about having a girl 4x, which we are, while the whole time before we found out, I thought FOR SURE we were having a boy. And sometimes, I've dreamt about bad stuff, that came true, or that played out *exactly* how it had in my dreams. It can be creepy. Anyway, I said all that to say this. 3 years or so ago I had a student in my preschool class who I loved, we'll call her M. Her mom worked for us, and her brother attended the school to.They were great, smart kids, from a hard family situation. Her mom had known my family for my whole life (that's how she got the job) but her husband was a felon, who had 2 other children, M & her brother, and one on the way. They lived in a tiny apartment on a not so good side of town. This little girl was fantastic.Well fast forward about 8 months, her mom & dad start treating myself and another preschool teacher not so great and it evolves into a HUGE fiasco. A screaming match one day at school w/us having to call the police and obviously, she got fired. I never saw M again. Today, I dreamt about her. Very vivid. Very obvious that it was her, and her mom, & her 2 sisters and her 2 brothers. She was incredibly sad. Told me she had no friends in school (she'd be about Moo's age) and that he life at home was really hard and that she hated it. I felt like in my dream, I *needed* to find her. I did find her mom, on FB, it wasn't tough. What is holding me back is her dad's situation. I do not want this man around my family or my baby. I would hope that her mom has enough sense to keep him away from M & her brothers as well. I'm just torn. I know it was "just a dream" but I just feel like she needs something, and at this point, I can't contact her family.

Okay..Anyway, on to Day 5, which is my favorite quote...Dude, I love quotes. Seriously. They are one of my favorite things. 2 of my absolutely most favoritest are "I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended on to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts." by Abraham Lincoln. You could live your whole life by things this president said. He was amazing, he is one of those people, that when asked "what 3 people would you like to meet, living or dead" that I wrote down. My other favorite quote does not have an author, or, the author has chosen to remain anonymous and it goes "I believe in the sun even if it isn't shining. I believe in love even when I am alone. I believe in God even when he is silent." That one has gotten me through quite a few hard times. To just remember, above all else, I'm never really alone, and I'm never forgotten, I'm always loved.

Okay, E is on his way home, I'm gonna attempt to get kind of pretty..Have a great weekend!! We are looking at flurries here in the great midwest and 70 degrees by Tuesday. What the hell..lol.

PS: It's 8:40pm on 11-05..and it's SNOWING!! Not sticking, but snowing, I love it. I hope we have snow for my birthday!!

Day 4-My Favorite Book

Is by FAR "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. In fact, I like it so much, that Harper, is one of our top 3 names for this baby girl. The story, the details, the plot, the characters, they are all my favorite. I have loved this book since I was little. I think I remember reading it the first time in 3rd grade..I just love everything about it. She is a great author and it is a great story.

So, yesterday, I'm laying in the bathtub, and I SEE my belly move. Just like little ripples. I figured it was A)a figment of my imagination or B) me moving, so I held my breath, and she moved again. It was insane!! Like in alien. She has been really active today!! I usually just feel a "heaviness" or a "knot", today it was definite movement, not kicks, but she was making herself known. I hope DH can see her moving. She seems to like hot baths and showers. Seriously, I cannot wait for big, kicks. It's just realiving to see her move or to feel her dancing around in there. I only have 17wks left!! Can you believe that? That's not very long, and if she keeps measuring big, she may come sooner. Oh heavens, I actually, might just have a baby this time!!

Oh also, go over and wish Leda congratulations..she had a beautiful baby girl named Delia yesterday!! The first of my bloggy friends, who have been w/me on this whole journey, to give birth. Gives me mad hope for our baby!!

Post # 700..Woot!!

I obviously am on the "massive fail" list for my 30 day blog challenge. Yesterday, my mom was over, and we went out for dinner and worked on shower stuff, so, out the window that went, I will be posting 2 of my 30 days today =)


Day 2 of the Ambien, didn't go so great. But I think that had way more to do w/the fact that I have some kind of muscle injury in my left arm (only me) that I have no idea how I got, I could not lay on my left side. It hurt from my shoulder to my fingertips, it sucked big time. It still hurts today..although I've gotten adjusted and had T massage it (which was so lovely, I now know what I want for my bday). Today, I've been rocking a headache and maybe TMI, itchy nip.ples. How odd is that? They have been hurting for weeks, but the itchiness is out of control!! Oh, and just FYI, I am CRAVING apple cider. I love that it is in season =)

Okay, so for day 2 of the blog challenge, I'm supposed to list my favorite movie and why I like it. It's a toss up. One movie I am *always* in the mood to watch is "Christmas Vacation." I know every single word to this movie, and now, so does my dad, my mom, my husband, and Moo-Moo. We can repeat them at will at any given time. It is hilarious. This is the whole movie she wanted to watch the whole trip down to Gatlinburg last June. Another favorite is "StepBrothers." If you haven't seen this, YOU MUST!!! It is to hilarious for words. T & I are constantly quoting this movie at work. It is just hilarious.

For day 3 my favorite television program..Again, a toss up. I have more then one favorite. Every week we watch/DVR WWE Raw (love), House, Hell's Kitchen, Parenthood, & Modern Family. These are just so hilarious, and I love Chef Ramsey. But I always seem to be hungry whenever we watch Hell's Kitchen, I always have to have a snack. E makes fun of me.

Okay, that tis all for now. Im still rocking this headache, and I need to eat something. 23weeks today..Can you believe that!?

Blog Challenge Day 1 & Update

Okay, so as I said, for the month of November, I'm doing a blog challenge..Here are my topics..
Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of your favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where you live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - your worst habit
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future


So today, for day 1, I'm supposed to list & talk about my favorite song. It's so hard to pick just one. My musical tastes are really ecclectic..I've been in a "country" kind of mood lately, but I adore R&B, classical, and classic rock. I would have to say a song I *always* sing along to is "Somebody to Love" by Queen...but man, I also love "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Anything Like Me" by Brad Paisley. I've had a love affair w/Queen since I saw the "Wayne & Garth" movies, when they headbang to Bohemian Rhapsody. Then, I fell in love w/Somebody to Love after seeing "Happy Feet." OH, and "Fat Bottom Girls" another Queen classic. Those songs just make me smile. Then , the Brad Paisley song makes me laugh, because if our girl (and I know it's about his son) but if she *is* anything like me, I am going to get my payback. My mom & dad will just sit back and laugh. Same if we ever have a son. We will be in for it. I can't wait!!


So I got an emergency u/s today..That was nerve wracking..This girl..Such a stinker!! So remember that I was measuring 3 weeks ahead 6 days ago (last Tuesday) and I was only almost 22wks, well today I called Dr. F because I was feeling "flu-ish." The good news, I do not have the flu, just a run of the mill sinus infection. But, when he measured me, I was measuring TWENTY EIGHT weeks!!! Whaaat!? I'll be 23wks on Wednesday, so that's 3 MORE centimeters in six days. That's a lot. So, tell me why Dr. F was like, "let's just double check and make sure we haven't missed something, like another baby." To say I about shit my pants would be an understatement. I've had u/s from 6wks-13wks, then one at 16wks. So, how are 3 different doctors gonna miss an entire other baby!? NO!! And he wanted to make sure she wasn't HUGE. Well, she's long, but measuring just a little bit ahead. There IS only 1 baby..and she is very much a girl. Show all of her business today. She is transverse breech (stubborn girl) and laying across my abdomen, right under my lungs, which is why I can't breathe about 80% of the time. She is gorgeous!! Long legged baby. Everything is fine, we may deliver in February, but he isn't given me a new EDD. For now, we stick w/03-02-11...which is okay w/me. I don't want to go super early cause E will still be in the academy. And I've scheduled my GTT for next Tuesday. I'm guessing, I have it. We'll see. Oh, and Dr. F told me I must take the Ambien since I am sleeping for literally 2-3hrs PER night. That the reason I am so sluggish and not healthy feeling is because I don't have energy to fight infection. So that's the plan for tonight. Just one night of sleep will be a blessing.


Okay, off to check email etc. =)