Suggestions?

You know what is NOT fun? PUPPP w/an allergic reaction to a sulfa drug (Macrobid, a reaction I apparently ONLY have when PG). Does anyone have any suggestions? I am about to claw my skin off!! I have hives and welts everywhere..It's really pretty. Might mess up the ol SIL pictures Friday..=) Hydrocortisone cream does not seem to be working and yes, I have stopped the Macrobid. Ugh, at this point I'll do (almost) anything.

Had another appointment w/Dr. F today..He said he didn't think I have/had a UTI (which I didn't think either) and the hives on my arms/legs were from the sulfa and told me to stop taking it. Also....dum de dum dum. He told me to stop taking the Lovenox..OMG. I am ready to do this (the shots are getting worse) but I am scared as well. But he reassured me, that born now, she would survive w/a good outcome. Plus, the edema and hematoma's from the shots are making my belly SO swollen. I'm 31wks4d today..Measuring THIRTY SIX weeks. No wonder everyone was asking me when I was due. Baby E is doing very well. Moving all the time, HB was 157. He measured me 3x to "make sure"..lol. Gotta love being huge. Also, on that note, just because I  might look like a barn, does NOT mean people get to make comments. Seriously!! Some people just need to shut it. The PUPPP/sulfa reaction is killing me. As previously mentioned.

Some "gems" from this weekend. Walking into my parents house my grandma greeted me with "hey fatty." During the family picture (w/my dad's family) one of my aunts said "I want to stand next to you so I look really thin." So I purposely stood directly in front of her in 4 out of the 5 family pics. She looked so "thin" that no one could see her. Yay. Another aunt told me my face looked very "fluffy." And my MIL asked THREE times if I was "sure there weren't 2 in there." WTF? Next time, I'll give her a speculum and she can check it out herself. I know, crass. But why do people loose their filters around PG women? Do they think it makes me feel good to know everyone thinks I look like a barn? I'll have to post a pic, then you can tell me if I look like I'm carrying sextuplets.

Okay, that is all. The bed is calling my name =)

Fun Times in L&D...Again

Otherwise known as "How we spent Christmas Night." It was good times, let me tell you. One thing that no one tells you is that when you start having contractions 9 weeks early..It's not just fear of having a preemie that overtakes you..It's the pain. Oh my heavens. Nothing could have prepared me for "real" contractions. Nothing. No pictures, no words, no descriptions. Nothing. It almost took my mind off the fact that there was a real potential of giving birth 2 months early.

We were at my MIL's family Christmas, and around 5pm I started feeling really nauseous and like I needed to go to the bathroom. This has been the case after my last few meals, so  I just shrugged it off. About 15 minutes later, I knew I had to get to the bathroom, my stomach felt like it was being burned from the outside in and I had pain radiating from my back up my shoulders, even into my toes. I went to the restroom, and the pain was so bad I had trouble standing up. It was like waves of pain. I told E we needed to leave and go to the hospital. Were we 2 hours from our hospital?! Yep. So I called Dr. F (more as a courtesy then anything) and he told me to go home and lie down on my left side for an hour..Really!?!? The pain was excruciating..E had to talk to him because I had to concentrate on breathing and not throwing up in the car. I told E there was no way I could make it through a 2 hour car ride in this kind of pain. Apparently, Dr. F just thought I was having heartburn or round ligament pain...Or NOT. Defn. contractions. Defn. preterm labor. I got hooked up to monitors at the nearest hospital, and the best part about the contractions was when Baby E would push on me as I was having one. It took all my strength not to scream. I couldn't stop crying and I felt completely out of control, not to mention, scared. The nurse was really friendly, and helped me control my breathing, and she had to do a cervical check. That.was.awesome. As in really bad. Thankfully, my cervix was/is closed and thick, so no dilation from the contractions. I got a shot of Terbutaline and Zofran and I was monitored for about 4 hours. They did some blood work and took a urine sample..I was dehydrated and have yet another UTI, which can & does cause contractions. They sent me home w/a script for antibiotics and to call my doctor Monday..I have an appointment Tuesday, so we'll see if I call tomorrow. I'm kind of pissed at him right now, cause what if I had gone home? I was having contractions, it was not good news. I'm sure he'll be pissed, but I know my body better then anyone...and what was going on was not right (obviously). It was a great way to spend Christmas night.

Other then that, Christmas was fantastic. Baby E made out like a banshee (and she's not even here yet) and we got all kinds of great stuff. Pictures to follow, but for now, I'm exhausted and have laundry to do. Hope all of you had a wonderful holiday!!

PS: SIL gave us an "itinerary" for her wedding....It's SIX pages long. Bahahaha!!!

Christmas Eve

• Baby Girl is movin & groovin..It is hilarious to watch, glorious to feel..This time next year..Oh my heavens, I won't be able to hold in the excitement
• I cannot WAIT to give E his presents. I'm more excited about that then anything else
• It will be my first white Christmas since in about 10 years..Pumped? Yes I am!!
• Tonight is Christmas Even w/my dad's slightly dysfunctional family..There's always stories to tell..but the best part is the Christmas Eve service at our church and my mom's AWESOME food
• We have our new bed..I just wish I could get comfortable..It's not the beds fault, it's this big ol belly..Oh well..Totally worth it!!
• There is wrapping paper, ribbons, tape, scissors, and labels strewn all about the living room..It looks like a gift wrap explosion
• I'm still in my jammies..at 12:00PM
• I just feel excited..I can't wait for the next few days!!
• If I don't get here b/f tomorrow is over...Have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Advice Needed

I am actually asking for advice, yes please, because I am stuck on a few things.

1. Allie is continuing to poop in the house. W.T.F!? She has never, ever had this issue. It has been bad news since her attempted suicide by brownies 3 weeks ago. She always goes in the entryway (never on the carpet) and I always mop afterwards. Is it possible that she "smells" something and thinks she can poop there? What are some suggestions to curb this? She isn't being left at home over 8 hours at a time, she goes out every single morning, and I make her do both of her businesses. I'm at a loss of what to do. Besides have DH bleach the floors when he gets home Wednesday night. Ugh. Please help. 
2. I have EXTREME itching/rash on my belly..like bellybutton line and below. It is unbearable. So far lotion hasn't helped (Lubriderm, Bath & Body, etc) and I'm scratch til my skin bleeds, and it STILL itches, and then hurts. Any ideas? I kind of need a lotion that won't break out my already ridiculously sensitive skin. Would Aveeno work? Or cocoa butter/lotion?
3. The blessed wedding of the year is next weekend. DH does NOT have Thursday or Friday off, so I will be going it alone. He is scheduled to be in class Friday til 5pm and the wedding is 2 hours away at 7:30, so he will be hauling ass to get there. I have already decided that I am not going to the rehearsal dinner. It is too far to drive back & forth hauling Moo & Allie. Plus, we all know how to walk down the aisle. I don't need to have pizza & salad at the fire station. And, worst case scenario, I'm 2 hours from my doctor & hospital, DH is 2 hours away from me & my parents will be in Michigan, so I'd have to drive myself there too..W/dog and little girl. No thanks. So the SIL wants us all at the salon by 11:30am (and we are staying at her house on NYE night, so we'll drop Allie off there). I know I'm sounding super whiney, but it's a lot to do by myself. I didn't realize how much I rely and depend on DH, just to even drive me places. I mean, yesterday, a 40 minute walk around Sam's Club about did my feet and legs in. I can't imagine being up from 9am-sometime after 12am. Ugh. I know. Whiney. And the SIL does not seem to understand (yep, put on your surprised face). I've explained my lifting weight limit, and the fact that I'm not supposed to be on my feet for hours on end. I guess I'll just sit down whenever I feel like it. Would I love to just skip this? Yep. Does this make me a bit bitchy? Yep. Any suggestions on keeping my shit together would be great =)
4. Umm..a couple of questions about what is "normal" from the BTDT mammas. Peeing at least 6x a night? Normal? Being nauseated during the night? Nipp.les hurting? Feeling exhausted in the 3rd tri? Having the holiday blahs? Skin breaking out like it did during the first tri? Excessive clumsiness and forgetfulness? Okay, that pretty much covers it right now I do believe. 

Okay, I'm off to watch tv & read. Thank you in advance for any advice!!

Quick Update

Before I go to bed..I'm so sleepy..

• Im not one of those pregnant people..but being pregnant got kind of uncomfortable this weekend. It's hard to stand for long periods of time, and the belly is so big it's had to roll over. I look like a beached whale..Lol..But I am loving it. People ask me if I'm "miserable." Umm, nope. I love it. I'd do every single part of it over again, and I can't wait to do so. I'm just uncomfortable. And I feel like I shouldn't complain..So please don't be *too* mad at me.
• The weekend is not a long enough time to be w/DH. By the time we get back into a "routine", he has to go back to school. Oh well, he only has 47 more days (can you believe that?!!?) and he's home for 4 days next week. Yessss!!!!
• Allie has licked 2 hot spots near her nubbin and she has a little infection near her bottom. She's like a child. Now, I'll have to A) find money to pay the vet and B) find time to take her to the vet. It doesn't seem to be bothering her, so for now, we'll just wait and see.
• Sometimes, my husband just doesn't listen, and sometimes, I just have to let him learn from his mistakes. I.E., folding wet laundry makes it moldy and stinky..He discovered this when he opened his suitcase at the academy last week. It was not good news apparently..Gotta let them learn on their own sometimes.
• I need to wrap presents, unfortunately, doggie will get into them if i put them out, so it will wait til probably Christmas Eve. Oh, and PG brain has made me forget about 2 people I still need to buy for. Oops!!
• Our Christmas present from my parents this year..A new bed!! Well mattress and box springs. OMG!! I am so excited. It's a king sized bed and we are just attaching our existing head board to it. But still. Our current mattress is so uncomfortable that E is sleeping in the guest room. So we will be back in bed together b/f Christmas..yay!!

Okay, DH just NOW decided to fold his laundry, so i must go help. Hope your weekend was wonderful!!

Gah

Pretty much sums up the last few days...

• Bladder infection..5 days of antibiotics..leading to a kidney infection. Yay. Full of pain. Neat-o
• Very little sleep. Like I'm on negative sleep hours. I'm in almost constant pain, and turning hurts and getting up eleventy hundred times a night isn't helping. 
• Dr. F said everything is "normal" today..Babeh is measuring good (still big), HB was 154, she is very active, and she is head down, lying directly on my bladder...hence the pain. He explained that her cranium on my bladder is causing pressure, making my bladder think it's full, sending the "pee" signal to my brain..But oops, not so much. So it's kind of spasming. It's good fun. Ah, well, at least she's in a good position. 
• I read LCFA yesterday, and in the "loss" section was an entry about a mamma that lost her baby, just recently at 34 weeks. I'm terrified of this. I know, it's shitty to make this selfish, but this is what I fear. Ugh. I don't want her to come so soon, but  I am just ready to hold her. To touch her. To actually have her in my arms. 
• I feel like I have ballooned in the last month. Ugh. I just feel, and have recently had a stretchmark explosion..Oh so pretty..Lol. Ahh, she is leaving her mark already
• I'm still not done Christmas shopping. Yep. Procrastination is my middle name. I'll get it done. 
• I feel like this entry is so dumb, lol. Stuff is just kind of, blah. We got some snow, it's gorgeous, minus the roads being shit. I'm glad tomorrow is Friday..I need a weekend.

I've Been Meaning To Post

But I just feel dumb about a few things..I don't think you all will judge me..But you might think I'm "that" pregnant person..But let me just get it out..

I am kind of ready for the holidays to be over..Not because I don't LOVE them..because I usually do. But for the last 2 Christmas's..We've lost a baby. I am terrified. I know miscarriage isn't an option anymore, but baby loss still is, and it is at the FOREFRONT of my mind. I know this could happen anytime, but our bad luck has always been at Christmas. Ugh. I know, I should be greatful, but I just get scared. I've been over emotional (as in crying at every.damn.thing) and I just pinpointed the problem a few days ago. I haven't mentioned it to anyone, cause people already think I "stress" too much. Plus, really, nothing they say will make me not think about it. And I know that 9 out of 10 babies born right now, survive. And i have almost literally had to sit on my hands not to Goo.gle "cord injury death" or " late term PG loss." I often wonder how if I would be different if we didn't have 6 losses under our belts. Would I still worry about this kind of stuff? I also had a dead baby dream last night. I woke up choking. Literally. I couldn't breathe. It was awful. I could not fall back to sleep. And I know she's okay. We had a great appointment last Thursday, HB was fantastic, she's still measuring big (which Dr. F says is totally fine) and after I woke up, she was just going ballistic and has been moving all day. DH even heard her HB through my belly. It was so cool. I'm sorry for all the gloom and doom, I just had to get it off my chest (which thinking of..has gotten exponentially larger in the last week.)

Otherwise, things are good. DH gets to come home for 4 days at Christmas...4 days of good sleep!? Yes!! And they had the recruits turn in their top 3 posts they want to be put at. Hopefully, and we are putting a lot of hope into this one, we get central Indy. Apparently, there were quite a few recruits that want central Indy. My mom is going to be our child care (what a blessing!!) and my work is letting me come back 3 days a week, so staying here would be the best thing for us. I know, sounds selfish, but moving, in the dead of winter, with an infant, does not sound like a piece of cake to me. And to be far away from my family w/our new baby, I'll probably have a panic attack, lol. We should find out the first of the year. If you might whisper a prayer our way, that would be appreciated..Thank you =)

Oh also, how do you know that a bladder infection has moved into your kidneys? I think my intuition is telling me that the antibiotics aren't working. I'm in almost constant pain, it's hard to walk, I'm still peeing 100x a day, and I have uncontrollable back pain. I'm going through those bladder pain pills (that make your pee turn orange, I can't remember the name) like they are candy. I don't want anything to effect Miss E, so I'm just wondering what the next step is. Dr. F is gonna be like, you are a hypochondriac, but it just feels like I'm not getting any better.

Okay, that is all, off to try and get some sleep.

Ugh & Blah

This week feels like it is taking FOREVER. And it's not been a good time. Remember how I told you Allie ate a whole pan of brownies last Friday? Well, she's be on & off sick all weekend. Monday, she seemed fined. Then Tuesday, she was just really lethargic, and had 4-5 diarrhea accidents. It was awful. Then last night, my mom picked her up at my house, where she destroyed a trash can (I can't believe I left it out, I've been so scatterbrained lately) and had 5 more accidents. I know that they were accidents because she's been a jerk before when she was angry, and has pooped on the carpet. This time, it was on the wood floor, near the front door, so I know she was trying to hold it. Poor gal. Then, at my parents house, she had 6 accidents overnight. She has never, EVER pottied in their house. EVER. I went to bed around 12am, and was up every hour to take her outside, clean up shit, and pee. I got about an hour total of sleep. Finally, around 4:15am I took Allie home so she could be comfortable and I didn't have to worry about her messing at my parents house. They live about 40 minutes away. To say I am exhausted would be an understatement. I think she has some stomach virus, and I'm gonna call the vet tomorrow. She's still eating & drinking fine, and she played yesterday at my parents house, plus she played here at home, and then sleeps for like 4hrs straight, lol.

Work today was a cluster as well. We only had 1 massage therapist, and one of the doctors waaay overscheduled, and I had to help in the back as well as running the front desk. I *know* I overdid it again today and I know I have got to stop doing that. Dr. F is gonna be really peeved at me tomorrow. But sometimes things have to get done. On top of that. the person we've hired to help & learn my job (for when I'm on maternity leave) is NOT working out. It's bad news. She just isn't catching on, blames anyone else when she messes up, and pretty much just doesn't care about the job. She has money, so she doesn't "need" this job, but this is MY job. Which I am coming back to, and I don't want it totally messed up to the point where I have to re-do everything. Ugh. It's just a mess. On a good note. I got my money!!! I'll be able to pay off my bill w/o going to court, plus have some leftover. I about shit my own pants. I couldn't believe it. I am so thankful.

Im really ready for E to be home this week. We are supposed our first winter storm. We got snow last weekend, but this is supposed to be a thrashing. It has been so, SO cold here. Like the HIGH today was 12 degrees. It's just be sub-artic. Every night the temp falls below zero. I'm ready for E to be home because I am so done being knee deep in dog excrement, and because I feel like a zombie, and like I'm getting sick. I'm gonna have Dr. F look at my throat and nose tomorrow. Oh, and hopefully, I'll get another u/s. My mom is going to try and come to the appointment, and if she does, then I'll for sure get one. Can't wait to see how big baby girl is. She is moving around so much now, it's crazy.

Okay, I'm exhausted. I'm literally running on fumes. Have a good night!!

I Love The Lazy Days

This weekend has been an exercise in laziness and family. I'm telling you..The only thing that gets me through M-Th is the fact that E comes home on Friday. I just miss him so much. And I feel like sometimes, he is missing this whole pregnancy. When he comes home, he just loves on Baby E, and she LOVES it. Her first word will be dada, count on it. She is just so much more active when she knows he is home. I wonder if it is because I am more relaxed when he is here? The last 2 nights, she has woken me up @ 3am and just starts moving and groovin..and I have to eat. I get so hungry!! And we watch tv, and she just goes ballistic. It's like my belly is made of jello. Just moving all over. I secretly hope this becomes something she does when she's born. It's like our time together. I can't wait to meet her. You have no idea!! Oh also, my fingers get pretty swollen during the day (not sausage fingers, yet) but enough that I had to move my rings to my necklace. Makes me so sad!! I love my rings and my fingers just feel nekkid. E ordered me a new ring to wear until the swelling goes down (awww) and it should be here next week. It's really pretty, biggish center stone, fakey, but hey, as long as my finger doesn't turn green, I don't care. Such a sweet guy =)

We have really just stayed in our jammies today and yesterday, put up more Christmas decorations, watched the snow, napped, taken care of Miss Allie, watched the baby move, oh, we heard her HB on the stethescope!! Watched moveis, tv, laughed, hugged, been together. Its' just been wonderful. Seriously. One of the best weekends ever. We've got about 100% of nothing accomplished and I'm totally okay w/that. The next few weekends are going to be jammed packed, so it's been nice to have one where we don't really have anything to do. Now, off to finish Christmas cards, nap, & watch the Colts (hopefully WIN something!!)

Hope you all had a lovely weekend!!

1st Snow =)

It's been pretty much a perfect Saturday..E is home, Baby E is moving around like crazy, Allie is all better, and it's snowed about 4inches. It's gorgeous. I love it. And Allie goes berserkers in the snow. The prissest dog LOVES the snow. It's hilarious to watch her..We've just stayed in our fleece jammies, watched tv & movies, cleaned a little bit, made some dinner, slept in, took naps, etc. Great day. I love it when E is home. Here's some pics =)

Allie...sliding in the snow and burying her face..Oh yes we do let her go leash free in the snow, she LOVES it!!

28wk1d belly pic looking down..See how you can hardly see my feet? Yeah, that big..Sitting down it doesn't look that big, but standing, good heavens.

Allison Renee sniffing the snow. Such a silly dog.

The view from my computer desk..I love it. Our tree is so pretty this year!!

Our outside lights..And then Noblesville over the lake..I love winter nights..Really =)

Oh The Excitement..

That is my life..Said in a semi-sarcastic tone of voice..Let's start w/last night..

I got home from work around 6:00pm..and carried in groceries, and did 3 loads of laundry and had dinner. Big E called around 8pm, and I realized that Baby E wasn't moving very much. So after we talked, I laid on my left side for an hour and the baby only moved 2 times. I figured she was just sleeping and I fell asleep. I woke up at 10:30 and realized she still hadn't moved, so I called Dr. F around 11pm, and he told me that he thought everything was fine, but to head to the hospital..Commence freaking out. Seriously. No one wants to hear this, but I imm. tried to think how I was going to tell everyone that our baby had died. I just can't not think this way. After loosing 6 pregnancies, it's all I can do. I skip over any rational thought directly to "mortal peril." I know, to "normal" people, it's ridiculous, but to me, it's the norm. And I know it's macabre, but I just can't help it. So I call K (my boss, friend, and baby's godmother) and she says I am not going to the hospital alone, and to meet her at her house and she will drive me. She was a godsend. She talked me down from the ledge, asked WHY did I overdo it (I'm on a 10lb weight limit, so carrying in groceries may not have been the best choice, but what was I gonna do?) We got to the hospital and I went to L&D (which further freaked me out) and they put me on the monitor, and there, 164bpm, was my baby's heartbeat. Still, the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. They used this buzzy thing (that i want to get for home) and buzzed her 3x. She moved about 8000x in the next hour. It was amazing. K said that she would watch my belly and actually could see little body parts. She said my belly looked like jelly. And she would move so hard that it would make my leg twitch involuntarily. Insanity. Dr. F actually met us at the hospital (that's how awesome he is) and he said she had moved head down (whereas she has been transverse or footling breech) and that's why I didn't feel the big movements as much. He also got on my case for overdoing it..lol. He said she was and is absolutely fine, her movement was "fantastic" and she was probably just sleeping or burrowed in really low..and since my injections sites are really low, I won't push as hard there cause it hurts. I was really, really scared. More then I have been so far in this pregnancy. And now, I am keeping track of every single movement. I get worried when it's more then 15 minutes w/o movement. Which I know is dumb because Dr. F said she sleeps 20-30 minutes every HOUR. So obviously, there won't be movements all the time. But I am so relieved. She's fine. She's healthy. I am so lucky, so thankful, so amazed that she is mine. We are going to have a baby =)

So let me tell you about tonight. I have been waiting all week for E to come home..like, more then usual. He got home before me..and guess what he came home to? Let me preface this with the fact that Allie only got to go to daycare once this week cause we are poor and I worked 5 days in a row that were long days..so $20 a day x 5 days=way too much money. And she's been really good. Not pottying in the house or anything. Defn. getting into things (a whole box of sweethearts last night, ripping apart boxes, toilet paper, etc). So E comes home to diarrhea & vomit All. Over. The . House. Oh my God. I can only imagine. When I got home it was still awful, I can't believe he didn't kill her. Apparently she was PISSED today, and she pushed a whole container of brownies onto the floor, ripped off the lid..and ate all the brownies...and we all know how bad chocolate is for dogs. She's lucky she's not dead. It was just awful. Nasty. Horrible. Never seen anything like it. We had to run out & get all kinds of cleaning supplies. What we had on tap just wasn't cutting it. OMG. I don't know what to do w/her. I literally put everything away. I know that brownie pan was pushed way back on the stove. IDK how she got it down. I just, UGH. It was not how I wanted DH to come home, cause, uh obviously, he wasn't in such a good mood the rest of the night. Bad. Bad. Bad. She seems to be okay right now, she had a ton of energy, and now she's sleeping at the foot of the bed. Gah.

Oh, and when we went out for dinner, I wasn't super hungry, so now, of course, now, I'm STARVING. Nighttime hunger will be the death of me. And it's supposed to snow 2-5 inches tomorrow, I'm so excited. We had our first snow on Monday, I didn't get any pics of that, but it was just a dusting. Can't wait to take pics of the snow and to get the rest of our Christmas decorations out. Yay!!

Things I've Realized...

• Dr. F said at my last appointment (2 wks ago) that he would not stop labor after 35wks..So since I'll be 28wks tomorrow..that leaves about 7wks to be completely prepared for this little girl. OMG.
• This little girl has to come out. I forgot about that part. Either the regular way or through an incision. Hmm..This is not gonna be a great big ol time.
• I still check the TP. Every single time.
• Everytime she doesn't move for more then 2hrs. I freak out. I forget that she sleeps. And the other night my bloggy BFF had to talk me down from the ledge because she hadn't moved in 4hrs. After talking me down from the ledge, my little gal went ballistic. It was awesome. 
• I'm pretty sure I'll be nervous til I have her in my arms. I know I shouldn't "worry" this pregnancy away, but I don't know that I can't. I try not to every day..but there is a fleeting thought all the time.
• I'm tempted to take another digital HPT just to see that beautiful word again..Most of the time, I still don't realize how awesomely our lives are going to change. We are going.to.have A BABY. Whoa.
• I also haven't taken in to account what it means that my husband is going to be a full time State Trooper. I mean, he was trying for small, podunct towns, and now, he will be a FT officer on the largest department in the state. That is so amazing.
• I probably should start alterations on the old bridesmaid dress. Ugh. More money we don't have. Oh well, it must be done, can't be waddling down the aisle w/my boobs hanging out.
• I think my iron is low. I am craving ice like CRAZY. Just TONS of it. 
• Okay, thats all. Now I'm hungry..and want some ice..lol.