Salvageable: *$E(*#)$

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

$E(#)$

de·spond·ent
Audio Help /dɪˈspɒndənt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[di-spon-duhnt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
feeling or showing profound hopelessness, dejection, discouragement, or gloom

I know it's small things, but right now, this is how I feel. I just want to cry, sleep, smack something because everything is so ridiculous and I just don't know which way is up. Ughh, can I get a Valium?

1 comment:

SAHW said...: Visiting via NCLM...not sure why you're down, but I hope things look up for you soon!; June 18, 2008 at 9:11 PM

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Our TTC/Pregnancy History

2008
Became Mrs.Joyner: 10/04/08

Started TTC: Uh, that night.

BFP #1: 12/10/08
M/C#1: 12/19/08

2009
BFP #2: 02/02/09
M/C#2: 03/15/09 (also, hemorrhaging, ER visit)

BFP#3: 07/08/09
M/C#3: 07/18/09

BFP#4: 08/06/09
M/C#4: 08/16/09

September: Meet w/RE who puts me on BC to "regulate" my cycles, and does bloodwork that we never do receive the results of.

BFP#5: 12/25/09
M/C#5: 01/07/10 (Also burst ovarian cyst, ER, hemorrhaging again)

2010
March 10: Meet w/Dr. J, our miracle doctor. DX: Factor 5 Leiden (heterozygous), PAT-I & MTHFR, plus PCOS & Endo. Oh, maybe that's why the whole pregnancy thing hasn't worked out!! Also, start Glu.metza

April 10: Surgery to correct PCOS & Endo, discuss getting pregnant in July

BFP#6: 06/20/10
Beta#1: 46
Beta #2: 104 (EDD 03/02/11, start Lovenox)
It's a: Girl!! (09/16/10)
12/25/10: Preterm Labor, not awesome & I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead.

January 11: Actual baby shower, for us. Wow (01/15/11)
01/24/11: Baby Girl is footling breech, well over 6lbs. Scheduled c-section for 02/24
01/27/11: SURPRISE!! Elaina Lynn comes 5 weeks early
01/27/11-02/08/11: The scariest 2 weeks of my life as Lulu hangs in the NICU. She does great, mommy is a basketcase
Febuary-July 11: Lulu flourishes. She is a wonderful. The joy & miracle of my life.
June-September: NTNP for Baby #2
07/28/11: Secret miscarriage (#6). 6 weeks along, don't tell DH til 2 weeks after loss.
09/13/11: Meet w/Dr. J about baby 2.0. Start Glu.metza again & OPK's
November 11: Still no luck in the baby department, plus, having bad reaction to Glumetza. But, Lulu at 9mos. is 21lbs/31ins and wonderful. Follow up in December.
12/05/11: Dr. J is glad I'm ovulating on my own & have lost 14lbs, so the Glumetza is working, but we're still not PG. For my next cycle I'll take Femara 2.5mgs 2x daily, on days 3-7, a CD12 u/s, and then timed "you know what"..Here's hoping..
Also, Lulu gets pink-eye, bronchiolitis & a sinus infection. But, her pediatrician is mighty impressed that she is 22lbs/32ins long. And after 3 rounds of antibiotics, she the happy, little baby we know & love.

2012
January: Start Fem.ara, make 2 beautiful follicles, do trigger shot and at the 11th hour, DH decides "he's not ready"..Umm..Hence, cancelled cyle.
01/27/12: Elaina turns one..I can't believe it's already been a year!!
01/31/12: Elaina is 23lbs/12oz & 32.5in. She is doing very well, and the doctor is super pleased.
February: Normal (for me) cycle,will start Clom.id on next cycle
March: Clomid cycle, 2 follicles, BFN
April: Natural cycle, BFN
May: Clomid cycle, 3 rockstar follicles, BFN
June: Natural cycle
06/25/12: BFP #7, call RE's office, they tell me to "wait until you are 14 DPO or 4wks" What!!
07/02/12: Tests turn negative
07/07/12: Miscarriage confirmed by bloodwork
07/08/12: M/C #7
07/13/12: Met w/Dr. Amazing aka Dr. F, who verifies that it was a miscarriage, does an internal u/s showing a still swollen uterus, of course. Tells us to take it easily & naturally until January. Ugh. Patience is a virtue.
07/27/12: Elaina has been in our lives on this Earth for 18 months..Absolutely crazy!! She is the love of our lives!!
o8/14/12: Elaina's 1st day of Preschool (tears for mama, but so excited for her!!)