Fearful

May I share a fear with you? Well let me start at the begining. In October of 2002 I became pregnant with my baby girl. It was COMPLETELY unplanned and a huge surprise. Not to mention the dad, had another girlfriend at the time. I was 19, in college, just starting a sorority etc. But as soon as I knew (which was about 5 seconds after the sex, sometimes you just KNOW)I was in love with my baby. But, I was alone, I didn't tell the dad or my family. I just went about daily life. I remember not having severe morning sickness but I ABHORRED smells. My nose was so sensitive, it was terrible. I went home for Christmas break on December 9 and 10 days later, I started miscarrying, the day I was going to tell my parents I was pregnant. I was devastated. I know that my baby wasn't very old, nor did I know FOR SURE that she was a girl (it was just a gut feeling) but I was so upset. I wanted her. And, to this day, I remember her EDD (07-15) and how she would be starting kindergarten this year. So here's my fear, what if I never get to experience that again? What if I do have trouble conceiving? What if I miscarry again? I know there are many women who haev gone through this, but it's kind of something more to the forefront of my mind now that Im getting ready to get married and hopefully start a family. My fiance has said he doesn't care if we cant have biological children, that we'll just adopt, which I totally agree with (being adopted myself) but on the other hand, a child will be my first blood relative. A part of me. And Im so scared I might not be able to do that again. And i feel bad because there are so many people who are going through this and have over and over and do I really have any right to be scared? I don't know, I just know that I am worried...